This past week, I have been held hostage in my house by two very sweet, sick children. It has been one of the longest weeks of my life. They both have suffered from very high(103.3) fevers, cough,croup and congestion. It has been one of those weeks. On the positive side, my laundry is all caught up, the house is sparkly clean, the garage is reorganized! When you can't leave your house, its amazing how much can get done.
So, as I was cleaning out the garage I found this little bell that was in a box I was going through. It was intact and if you pushed on the middle black button, it lets out a ding, ding, ding. I took that bell into my bedroom, where my kids were camped out during the day. I told them, now instead of screaming for mommy when you need me (their voices were scratched up from coughing so hard) just ring this bell and I will come in to see what you need. Big mistake.You know where this is going, right?
Every second I hear a ding, ding, ding, I go into the room. "what do you need", Regan "I need my cup with water mommy.", "Okay, Nolan do you need anything while I am here?" "No, mommy I am fine.", I go get water for Regan filling the cup only half way so it won't be spilled in my bed, smiling to myself that this is going to work out just fine.
I walk into the room, and hand her the water. Leave room. Sit down to work on my computer. Ding, ding, ding. I go into the room. Nolan,"Mommy I need my cup with water now.", "Why didn't you ask me when I was getting your sister water?" Nolan, "Because I wanted to ring the bell." I go and proceed to get him waterin the same fashion as Regan,I half way fill his cup too. This goes on all day, I hear ding, ding, ding and if my response isn't fast enough, it would only get louder, Louder and LOUDER!
They never wanted anything at the same time, and they relished in the idea that I was at their beck and call for all their needs, regardless how small. These sweet, little children who were deathly sick were about to get it from me. I was trying to be patient, and kind, and compassionate, but they were really pushing me to my limits. The endless summons, the needs, and wants, the questions, the whining, were all driving me crazy. I finally took the bell from them and hid it. I told them I didn't know what happened to it when they asked. I realized my sweet, little, sick babies were taking advantage of me and they liked the power of that bell! I on the other hand was exhausted trying to keep cups full, tummies rubbed and channels changed (yes, they would call me in to change the TV channel!)
This of course got me thinking, about my own bell. The one I ding, ding, ding, daily when I call on my heavenly father. Constantly ringing it, asking for something, and then later ringing it again to ask for more. I realize that God gives each of us our very own bell to ring whenever we choose, how ever many times we need to ring it. He wants us to ring it, he waits for us to ring it, he welcomes the sound!
Then, unlike me, he does not get frustrated with the small, some times, insignificant request I make, he does not get aggravated with my needs, he does not get irritated with me or lose his temper. He does not wonder."What now?", "You again?", no, my God is more patient, more compassionate, and more generous than me.He hears every request made, not just mine, but all his children. I am so blessed that he would never take my bell and hide it, but that he always leaves it within reach, it is always available to me.
At times in my life I have chosen to not ring my bell, I have been careless with it, lost it,or misplaced it. At times, I have taken advantage of my bell, and dinged it for every thing, wanting my needs met instantly (like Regan and Nolan this week), and at times, I have thrown that bell against the wall and left it behind. Only to go desperately searching for it later.
Not this time, this time I am going to keep this bell that I found out in my garage in plain view, not for the kids to abuse, but to remind all of us that whenever we need to, we can ring our God given bell and cry out to him, with all our needs, wants, desires, and concerns. Confidently knowing that he will hear the ding, ding, ding, loud and clear. The bell that he has given us is a welcoming, precious sound to his ears. He will faithfully answer whatever we ask, in his perfect time, and he will always be there to fill our cup, not half way so we can't spill it, but all the way to the top.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Destination
Nolan likes to show things to me that he is working on, or building. But, he likes to lead me to them, because he really enjoys the element of surprising me.
Today, he grabbed my hand and said "Mommy I want to show you something, close your eyes, take my hand and I will lead you there".
As I closed my eyes, I had fight the urge to peek, as he is watching me closely. He leads me, the longest way possible, sometimes forgetting to tell me the direction for me to go, causing me to bump into this wall, or stub a toe on that one. Sometimes I can feel myself, even with my eyes closed, trying to pull him along, because I know the direction. But,when I really listen to him, and pay attention to where he leads, I find that I get to the destination smoothly, and without too many scrapes.
When we arrive, he tells me to "open your eyes", and when I do,the first thing I see is his smiling face,as he stands beside me beaming with pride, at something he made just for me, that he wants me to share with him, and to tell him how awesome it is.You can not help, but get caught up in his enthusiasm for a tower of Lego's, or a picture painted diarrhea brown!
I think about how often this is so much like my faith. I want to walk straight, and come to my finish line with the least amount of bumps and bruises, only to find out, that I was walking with my eyes wide open and still slammed into that wall that was right in front of me.
I wonder if I close my eyes more, and rely not on myself, but more on my faith, if that is when I will come to my destination unscathed.
But, in my true fashion, as when Nolan is leading, I have to take a peek every now and then, to make sure that I am still in control, that I am still in charge of where I am going. I have to venture off course, thinking it will be a shortcut, to later find out I took the back roads. I have to fight my natural state to take over and allow God to be the leader, and do the guiding.
I need to close my eyes more, walk by my faith and not by my sight, and know that he will only lead me down a path of righteousness, maybe than and only than will my bruises and bumps heal, and maybe that is how faith grows. By trusting in the one you are allowing to lead, listening to the directions you are to go in, staying on course even when you have doubts.
For myself, I often get off course, I make lots of wrong turns, I try to always stay in control, and I have scars and wounds that were unnecessary.
So Maybe, God is saying to me now, "I have something to show you, take my hand, close your eyes,and I will lead you there" and if I choose to obey and let him take control, and if I choose to let him lead me to where he is taking me, and if I fight my human urge to take a peek,or go in my own direction, I will open my eyes at my destination and see my Heavenly Father staring down at me, smiling proudly just for me and saying."Well done".
Today, he grabbed my hand and said "Mommy I want to show you something, close your eyes, take my hand and I will lead you there".
As I closed my eyes, I had fight the urge to peek, as he is watching me closely. He leads me, the longest way possible, sometimes forgetting to tell me the direction for me to go, causing me to bump into this wall, or stub a toe on that one. Sometimes I can feel myself, even with my eyes closed, trying to pull him along, because I know the direction. But,when I really listen to him, and pay attention to where he leads, I find that I get to the destination smoothly, and without too many scrapes.
When we arrive, he tells me to "open your eyes", and when I do,the first thing I see is his smiling face,as he stands beside me beaming with pride, at something he made just for me, that he wants me to share with him, and to tell him how awesome it is.You can not help, but get caught up in his enthusiasm for a tower of Lego's, or a picture painted diarrhea brown!
I think about how often this is so much like my faith. I want to walk straight, and come to my finish line with the least amount of bumps and bruises, only to find out, that I was walking with my eyes wide open and still slammed into that wall that was right in front of me.
I wonder if I close my eyes more, and rely not on myself, but more on my faith, if that is when I will come to my destination unscathed.
But, in my true fashion, as when Nolan is leading, I have to take a peek every now and then, to make sure that I am still in control, that I am still in charge of where I am going. I have to venture off course, thinking it will be a shortcut, to later find out I took the back roads. I have to fight my natural state to take over and allow God to be the leader, and do the guiding.
I need to close my eyes more, walk by my faith and not by my sight, and know that he will only lead me down a path of righteousness, maybe than and only than will my bruises and bumps heal, and maybe that is how faith grows. By trusting in the one you are allowing to lead, listening to the directions you are to go in, staying on course even when you have doubts.
For myself, I often get off course, I make lots of wrong turns, I try to always stay in control, and I have scars and wounds that were unnecessary.
So Maybe, God is saying to me now, "I have something to show you, take my hand, close your eyes,and I will lead you there" and if I choose to obey and let him take control, and if I choose to let him lead me to where he is taking me, and if I fight my human urge to take a peek,or go in my own direction, I will open my eyes at my destination and see my Heavenly Father staring down at me, smiling proudly just for me and saying."Well done".
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Another Reason Why I Love Home School!
Me: Regan, what do you want to do today?
Regan: I was thinking of writing a report on Ramses the Great and then making a pyramid out of sugar cubes?
Me: okay.I was thinking about going shopping at Kohl's. But your plan works too.
Regan.: Thanks mommy, I can't wait to learn more about this pharaoh I am sooooooooooo excited!
Regan: I was thinking of writing a report on Ramses the Great and then making a pyramid out of sugar cubes?
Me: okay.I was thinking about going shopping at Kohl's. But your plan works too.
Regan.: Thanks mommy, I can't wait to learn more about this pharaoh I am sooooooooooo excited!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Happy Blogversary!
Today markes my one year blogversary! Last year I decided to start a blog so that I would have a place to write my own thoughts, ideas, or just plain vent! (if you get a chance you can read that first article again). It has been a great experience.
I have learned new things about myself and I have found a creative side that I never knew I had in me.
This blog has brought me much joy, and at times much stress! I have met new virtual friends, have been supported by my old friends and family.and through it all I have discovered that near or far, we all have more in common with each other, than we care to admit.
I have loved getting comments, advice and sometimes even heckles from my readers. I have pissed you all off, made you all laugh, cry, and hopefully think.
I have learned that words,when used as a weapon, often hurt worse than a physical blow. With one word , you can destroy someones faith, or their reputation. And yet, the use of one simple word can bring encouragement, joy, and hope. I have also found out how dangerous our words can become, and than later be used against us, or thrown back up in our faces.
In this last year I have increased my vocabulary, and improved on my spelling, but the most important thing I have learned this last year, is that I am more than a mother or wife, I am a woman who has something to say, and there are a few crazy people who actually want to listen! Thanks to all my readers out there, for reading my words, I promise to try and use them wisely!
I have learned new things about myself and I have found a creative side that I never knew I had in me.
This blog has brought me much joy, and at times much stress! I have met new virtual friends, have been supported by my old friends and family.and through it all I have discovered that near or far, we all have more in common with each other, than we care to admit.
I have loved getting comments, advice and sometimes even heckles from my readers. I have pissed you all off, made you all laugh, cry, and hopefully think.
I have learned that words,when used as a weapon, often hurt worse than a physical blow. With one word , you can destroy someones faith, or their reputation. And yet, the use of one simple word can bring encouragement, joy, and hope. I have also found out how dangerous our words can become, and than later be used against us, or thrown back up in our faces.
In this last year I have increased my vocabulary, and improved on my spelling, but the most important thing I have learned this last year, is that I am more than a mother or wife, I am a woman who has something to say, and there are a few crazy people who actually want to listen! Thanks to all my readers out there, for reading my words, I promise to try and use them wisely!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Routine
The holidays are over, the lights and decorations are put away for another year and I couldn't be HAPPIER! Yes, I had a great Christmas and New Year's, but enough is enough. I am so ready to resume to my every day routine. I enjoy the holidays as much as the next person, but I really enjoy the simplicity of my life.
I am ready to get back to dinner on the table at a reasonable time, the kids in bed by 830pm , and I am even ready for Bob to get back in the sky!
Bob and I are telling Nolan's school this month that we have decided to home school him next year, and I couldn't be happier with our decision. It will be tricky with a 6th grader and a first grader, but I am ready for the challenge. In my spare time I have been researching first grade curriculum and reading as much as I can on teaching a little boy. The hardest part in all of this is waiting until next August for the new school year to begin!
I am back at the gym, and my ladies group begins this week. I have decided to do another triathlon in March, and then possibly the Danskin in May. I am trying to stay motivated so that I will complete my half marathon this year. So everything, is settling back into its rightful place, in my own little corner of the world, on my quiet street here in O town.
I am ready to get back to dinner on the table at a reasonable time, the kids in bed by 830pm , and I am even ready for Bob to get back in the sky!
Bob and I are telling Nolan's school this month that we have decided to home school him next year, and I couldn't be happier with our decision. It will be tricky with a 6th grader and a first grader, but I am ready for the challenge. In my spare time I have been researching first grade curriculum and reading as much as I can on teaching a little boy. The hardest part in all of this is waiting until next August for the new school year to begin!
I am back at the gym, and my ladies group begins this week. I have decided to do another triathlon in March, and then possibly the Danskin in May. I am trying to stay motivated so that I will complete my half marathon this year. So everything, is settling back into its rightful place, in my own little corner of the world, on my quiet street here in O town.
Monday, December 29, 2008
New Year, New Me
It has been awhile since I posted, and well I am out of apologies. Truth be told, I have been so busy that I forget what I was going to write. But, as you know New Year's Eve is right around the corner so I will be able to make, yet more resolutions I will probably fail at keeping-Although I would love to not make resolutions this year, I feel compelled to start the year off with positive energy and a new found hope for something better.
Here are five that I have made and have never kept.
1. Eat healthier
2. let my hair, and nails grow
3.read one classic novel a month
4.Learn to love my body
5. run a marathon
five I kept
1. Do a triathlon-2008
2. marry Bob-1995
3,Have a baby-1998
4. Have another baby-2003
5. Begin homeschooling-2007
and five I will make for this year
1.spiritual-spend time daily with God and continue to grow into the woman he wants me to become
2.physical- to push myself, and continue to strengthen my body by doing a half marathon, yes I lowered my expectations.
3.friends- to not judge,criticize, or assume I know any one's life story, but instead listen more and talk less
4.Family- To become more positive in my role as a stay at home, homeschooling pilots wife. Allow time for just my husband and I so that we may continue to grow closer together and be an example to our children. To stop and answer my children's endless questions, savoring the time I get to spend with them. To love my children as individuals and get to know each one of their unique gifts.
5. personal-To take more time to post on my blog, which has taught me the love of writing, the healing of humor, and the support of a friend.
Now these all sound really good, but I know somewhere I will get lost, sidetracked and forget almost all of these..My busy days of hustle and bustle,my everyday stresses, and life will try and take my focus off of my resolutions. I know too well, that I will become distracted, and unmotivated, but I will give it my best shot, let you in on the progress and of course, there is always next year resolutions.
Here are five that I have made and have never kept.
1. Eat healthier
2. let my hair, and nails grow
3.read one classic novel a month
4.Learn to love my body
5. run a marathon
five I kept
1. Do a triathlon-2008
2. marry Bob-1995
3,Have a baby-1998
4. Have another baby-2003
5. Begin homeschooling-2007
and five I will make for this year
1.spiritual-spend time daily with God and continue to grow into the woman he wants me to become
2.physical- to push myself, and continue to strengthen my body by doing a half marathon, yes I lowered my expectations.
3.friends- to not judge,criticize, or assume I know any one's life story, but instead listen more and talk less
4.Family- To become more positive in my role as a stay at home, homeschooling pilots wife. Allow time for just my husband and I so that we may continue to grow closer together and be an example to our children. To stop and answer my children's endless questions, savoring the time I get to spend with them. To love my children as individuals and get to know each one of their unique gifts.
5. personal-To take more time to post on my blog, which has taught me the love of writing, the healing of humor, and the support of a friend.
Now these all sound really good, but I know somewhere I will get lost, sidetracked and forget almost all of these..My busy days of hustle and bustle,my everyday stresses, and life will try and take my focus off of my resolutions. I know too well, that I will become distracted, and unmotivated, but I will give it my best shot, let you in on the progress and of course, there is always next year resolutions.
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