I am starting to feel like an impostor on my own blog. Yes, I am still a pilot's wife, however with Bob's new job, he is home so much, it seems more like he retired! Don't get me wrong, I love that he is home more.. its just way more! He went from being gone about 25 days a month to being home 25 days a month!(okay maybe not 25 but at least 18-20). Its been an adjustment on both our parts. He is learning that life at home is chaotic,and messy,he doesn't get his meals on time,he has no control over the remote,and his laundry isn't delivered!I am also learning that I didn't mind having a husband that was gone that much.. JK.. or am I?
I always wondered what it would be like to have a "normal" family life. When women asked how I handled him being gone all the time, I would joke and say "how do you handle him being home all the time?! well,now I have an answer to both questions!
Bob is able to coach basketball for Nolan, take Regan to her Father-daughter dance, get up for late night feedings with Liam, and we have even been able to plan a romantic night out.
It feels like we are in a different season in our life, our career, and our marriage.Its exciting and scary at the same time, sometimes it feels like we are in a holding pattern, going around in circles,trying to find where we are supposed to land. But,we know that as long as we continue to stay on course we will find the runway lit up for a safe landing.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Its raining, its pouring
My best friend and I are training for our next triathlon in Sept. We each decided at the start of our training what our goals for this next race would be, and our reason for competing. I think if you don't have a clear goal, when training gets hard(and it will) or when it gets tough(and it does) you lose your focus on why you are doing it in the first place and may give up. So for this race, her goal is to be able to run(no stopping) the 5k, and mine is to shave off two minutes of my swim. They may seem simple, but it takes time and dedication to accomplish these goals.
We are on a strict running schedule with her,because she has never run before,(the last race, she walked the run), and so we can not afford to miss one of our running sessions.
Sunday night, we left a little earlier than usual, trying to get finished before the rain, and well, that didn't work. Half way through our run, a huge thunderstorm came on us. It was not a light sprinkle, the wind was blowing, the thunder booming, and the rain was coming down so hard you could barley see. At one point we were going to just stop, quit and pick it up another time. However, we realized what if this happens in our race,we would have to make a decsion, there are no take backs,so would we just give up, not finish, stop 2/3Rd's of the way through the triathlon? No, we wouldn't.We would press forward. So that is what we did. We ran through that thunderstorm, we were soaked, our clothes weighed an extra two pounds, but still we ran. We laughed,and thought how crazy we must have looked! At one turn the rain would let up a few seconds and then.. bam.., it would pour over us again. It was fun, and thrilling, we ran faster than we had before. We finished our task at hand.
Training is so unpredictable, it has so many variables, such as the weather, what you ate, what you drank, your soreness, rest, clothes, shoes etc. But if you let those things stop you,or hinder your training you may never finish your task. When it rained on us, I thought, this is life, sometimes everything is sunshine and at those times its easy to stay focused and train,that's the easy days.Its the times when it rains and pours that build your character. It's in those times, that you have a choice to make. You can stay the course, push through and finish it, or you can give up and quit. It is at these times that help define who we are, and what we are made of. It is in these times, that we must complete our race, we can not afford to give up on our goal or ourselves. Finishing the race is the goal,finishing it well is the prize.
I hope it rains again tomorrow.
We are on a strict running schedule with her,because she has never run before,(the last race, she walked the run), and so we can not afford to miss one of our running sessions.
Sunday night, we left a little earlier than usual, trying to get finished before the rain, and well, that didn't work. Half way through our run, a huge thunderstorm came on us. It was not a light sprinkle, the wind was blowing, the thunder booming, and the rain was coming down so hard you could barley see. At one point we were going to just stop, quit and pick it up another time. However, we realized what if this happens in our race,we would have to make a decsion, there are no take backs,so would we just give up, not finish, stop 2/3Rd's of the way through the triathlon? No, we wouldn't.We would press forward. So that is what we did. We ran through that thunderstorm, we were soaked, our clothes weighed an extra two pounds, but still we ran. We laughed,and thought how crazy we must have looked! At one turn the rain would let up a few seconds and then.. bam.., it would pour over us again. It was fun, and thrilling, we ran faster than we had before. We finished our task at hand.
Training is so unpredictable, it has so many variables, such as the weather, what you ate, what you drank, your soreness, rest, clothes, shoes etc. But if you let those things stop you,or hinder your training you may never finish your task. When it rained on us, I thought, this is life, sometimes everything is sunshine and at those times its easy to stay focused and train,that's the easy days.Its the times when it rains and pours that build your character. It's in those times, that you have a choice to make. You can stay the course, push through and finish it, or you can give up and quit. It is at these times that help define who we are, and what we are made of. It is in these times, that we must complete our race, we can not afford to give up on our goal or ourselves. Finishing the race is the goal,finishing it well is the prize.
I hope it rains again tomorrow.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Insecurity
I don't really know when all my insecurities began. I try to sit back and think about it, but its mostly a blur. It seems my whole life there was just one or more of them always there, invading my thoughts, my life, my behavior. I know that these past few years I have worked really hard through some of them, but the most deep ones, are still there. On my good days they are nonexistent, but still waiting in the crevices of my dark places to jump out at a moments notice. I guess I am bringing this up because I saw this book at the store, and it caught my eye. The title is ,So Long Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us, by Beth Moore, of course I picked it up,read the back, and the first line is, you considered this book because you saw the word insecurity! Yes, I am a victim, as thousands of women are, from some sort or many sorts of insecurities and as a mother of a young daughter, I want to avoid possibly handing down my baggage to her.
I think one of my biggest insecurities comes from my body image. I have this warped idea of how I am supposed to look. Sure,I could blame it on the media, but this began back in the late 70's and I wasn't really watching much TV then.
I can remember my grandmother always making references to my body weight, size, or appearance. I was never allowed second helpings at her house, and to this day I still wondered why I was never allowed the "pretty" plate. It was a cheap white plate, with flowers all around the edges, nothing special and now you could probably buy it at the dollar store, but to a 7 yr. old, it was the prettiest thing I had ever seen. The plate was never offered to me, and when I requested it,I was denied, leaving me heartbroken and feeling not good enough, or "pretty" enough or something enough to be allowed one serving on this plate.Its amazing a cheap plate is all it takes to make one feel no self worth. I think that is when this whole thing started, This road of self destruction and my quest for the "perfect" body.
Growing up, I tried all sorts of quick fixes. It was really hard to measure up,anything I did never seemed to be "enough". I tried all the diets, the pills, even starving myself, to obsessing over exercise. Temporarily, it would work, but then something would happen ie, boyfriend break-up, fight with a parent, or friend, and I would once again be back to where I was when I started.
Honestly, until two years ago, I didn't have a handle on being healthy. When I began training for my first triathlon, I began healing. I can't explain how it cleansed me. The ironic thing is, all the training was transforming the outside of my body, but the real healing was taking place on the inside. I write this, because I believe all women have a hang up about their looks or body. It can become paralyzing, a handicap if you allow it to take over your life. We, as women, begin to judge one another based on our size, instead of on our hearts. We begin to measure our self worth based on our waist size, we began to believe that our beauty is on the outside, we put ourselves in unhealthy relationships, and live unhealthy lives.I am still trying to figure it out, not let my daughter catch my too often on the scale,learning to take a compliment and just say thank you, not follow it up with something negative about my body and to not obsess over these last few, okay 10 pounds ,that I need to lose. Our daughters are watching, our neices are watching us.I am not saying its bad to improve you health,by exercising and eating healthy, I applaud all women any shape or size for taking control of their lives.I am saying we need to get a handle on who we are doing it for, and why we are doing it. Its still a struggle for me, but I know that one day I will finally see myself in the mirror, as Christ See's me, A Beautiful Daughter of the king.
This book says insecurities are curable,I am trying hard not to skip to the end, so until then I will continue healing the only way I know how, by training for my next triathlon in September,so that I can contine to strengthen my body so that I may have the strength to face life, and life, no matter how well lived, is hard.
I think one of my biggest insecurities comes from my body image. I have this warped idea of how I am supposed to look. Sure,I could blame it on the media, but this began back in the late 70's and I wasn't really watching much TV then.
I can remember my grandmother always making references to my body weight, size, or appearance. I was never allowed second helpings at her house, and to this day I still wondered why I was never allowed the "pretty" plate. It was a cheap white plate, with flowers all around the edges, nothing special and now you could probably buy it at the dollar store, but to a 7 yr. old, it was the prettiest thing I had ever seen. The plate was never offered to me, and when I requested it,I was denied, leaving me heartbroken and feeling not good enough, or "pretty" enough or something enough to be allowed one serving on this plate.Its amazing a cheap plate is all it takes to make one feel no self worth. I think that is when this whole thing started, This road of self destruction and my quest for the "perfect" body.
Growing up, I tried all sorts of quick fixes. It was really hard to measure up,anything I did never seemed to be "enough". I tried all the diets, the pills, even starving myself, to obsessing over exercise. Temporarily, it would work, but then something would happen ie, boyfriend break-up, fight with a parent, or friend, and I would once again be back to where I was when I started.
Honestly, until two years ago, I didn't have a handle on being healthy. When I began training for my first triathlon, I began healing. I can't explain how it cleansed me. The ironic thing is, all the training was transforming the outside of my body, but the real healing was taking place on the inside. I write this, because I believe all women have a hang up about their looks or body. It can become paralyzing, a handicap if you allow it to take over your life. We, as women, begin to judge one another based on our size, instead of on our hearts. We begin to measure our self worth based on our waist size, we began to believe that our beauty is on the outside, we put ourselves in unhealthy relationships, and live unhealthy lives.I am still trying to figure it out, not let my daughter catch my too often on the scale,learning to take a compliment and just say thank you, not follow it up with something negative about my body and to not obsess over these last few, okay 10 pounds ,that I need to lose. Our daughters are watching, our neices are watching us.I am not saying its bad to improve you health,by exercising and eating healthy, I applaud all women any shape or size for taking control of their lives.I am saying we need to get a handle on who we are doing it for, and why we are doing it. Its still a struggle for me, but I know that one day I will finally see myself in the mirror, as Christ See's me, A Beautiful Daughter of the king.
This book says insecurities are curable,I am trying hard not to skip to the end, so until then I will continue healing the only way I know how, by training for my next triathlon in September,so that I can contine to strengthen my body so that I may have the strength to face life, and life, no matter how well lived, is hard.
I'm Back..
Wow! 2010, really came in roaring. It is the middle of April and I am just feeling like I am getting my barings back! Well, First, Liam, decided to make his appearance two weeks early at 3am in the morning! I thought I had peed the bed, but no my water broke and off to the hospital to meet our little man 2 hours later!
Next, at the end of February, Bob got a new job. Yes, still in the aviation field. The best thing about the job is he is able to be home more! The worst part of the job, he is home more! LOL , No, seriously,it was a great opportunity for us, as a family. Next, as we were getting settled in to our routine, Regan broke her ankle in three places! So between her and Liam, we seem to always be at a dr. appt every week.
Finally,in the middle of April , we are back on track!
Homeschooling is going well, although, we have to make lots of adjustments. Bob's new job is in full swing. And Regan is managing to get around on crutches. I have even been able to get back to the gym the last two weeks!
Bob has been reminding me continuousle that I haven't written in a long time.( He is my biggest fan!) So, although I am gonna try to write more reguarly, I can't make any promises, because life is hapening at the Gary's and its new every day!
Next, at the end of February, Bob got a new job. Yes, still in the aviation field. The best thing about the job is he is able to be home more! The worst part of the job, he is home more! LOL , No, seriously,it was a great opportunity for us, as a family. Next, as we were getting settled in to our routine, Regan broke her ankle in three places! So between her and Liam, we seem to always be at a dr. appt every week.
Finally,in the middle of April , we are back on track!
Homeschooling is going well, although, we have to make lots of adjustments. Bob's new job is in full swing. And Regan is managing to get around on crutches. I have even been able to get back to the gym the last two weeks!
Bob has been reminding me continuousle that I haven't written in a long time.( He is my biggest fan!) So, although I am gonna try to write more reguarly, I can't make any promises, because life is hapening at the Gary's and its new every day!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Baby Makes Five!
Capt.Bob and I are happy to announce our newest little co-pilot..
Liam Eric Gary.. Jan. 24,2010 6:31am weighing in at 7pds 12oz, 21 in. long! He joins our other flight crew members,Big sister, Regan(11) and Big brother,Nolan(6)!
Monday, January 11, 2010
3 weeks left until D-Day
Lately, I find people to be very annoying,and rude.I don't know if its the pregnancy, or if people all of a sudden have just started to suck. But here are some things that I cant believe people say,or to an obviously 9 month pregnant woman.
1. Wow, you really are big. I mean huge, how much weight did you gain?
2. Your baby is gonna be huge(because I am so big I guess!_)
3. Don't worry the only thing that got big is your stomach and your ass.
4. How are you gonna lose that weight after the baby is born?
5. Yeah, your nose has really spread out.
6. Are you sure there are not two in there?
7. Have you picked a name yet? then I tell them. Really? hmmm, really? I don't know if I can pronounce it, like it, why would you name the baby that?
8. Man, you took the eating for two really seriously, huh?
9. I heard you were pregnant again, why? two wasn't enough?
this is what I want to say,but don't. Leave me alone, I am growing a human being in my uterus, I am supposed to be 32 pounds heavier because I am pregnant not fat. Yes, I know how much I weigh, because every week by some cruel twist of fate,I have a weigh in at my dr's office and know EXACTLY how much has been added to my stomach, and for that matter my ass.
I will lose the weight just like I did with my other pregnancies, with hard work, exercise, and breastfeeding. My weight gain, etc. is only temporary, your attitude, and rudeness and lack of social etiquites is something you will have to live with.We love the name we chose, it has meaning, is strong and family heritage. so suck it.
AND at the end of the day, I will be coming home with a beautiful, little baby, and it will all be worth it!
Oh, here are a few things you could say instead...
1. you look great.
2. you look great
3. you look great.
4. you look great.
5 you look great.
6 you look great.
7 you look great.
8 you look great.
or you could keep your damn mouth shut and say nothing at all.....
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Checking off my list
Both of my children have sent off their letter's to Santa, and I have discovered my new favorite way to shop.. Its called Amazon. I have never been one to use the Internet to shop, I have always loved to go to the stores and pick out the toys, and presents, but this year I am pulling the pregnancy card! With a husband gone for the next three weeks, I deserve to!
I have ordered and already shipped out of towners presents, with a click of a button.. I have ordered most of the kids presents and they should be here next week..wrapped! All for free shipping, and no impulse buying on my way out of the checkout line.
I am almost done with Christmas shopping from the comfort of my bed,no lines, no rude people, no extra money spent, no wrapping until midnight on Christmas Eve, and I swear I have saved lots of money in the process!
How come no one told me about this before , pregnant or not, I am convinced this is the way to go. I still want to go out to the malls and watch the people scrounge around trying to find gifts, but now I can just sit and relax and enjoy my hot Carmel apple spice latte. I only have one more stop to make, Publix, they have gift cards for every place in town.. It seems strange to be done shopping this early, I hope the mail isn't late.
I have ordered and already shipped out of towners presents, with a click of a button.. I have ordered most of the kids presents and they should be here next week..wrapped! All for free shipping, and no impulse buying on my way out of the checkout line.
I am almost done with Christmas shopping from the comfort of my bed,no lines, no rude people, no extra money spent, no wrapping until midnight on Christmas Eve, and I swear I have saved lots of money in the process!
How come no one told me about this before , pregnant or not, I am convinced this is the way to go. I still want to go out to the malls and watch the people scrounge around trying to find gifts, but now I can just sit and relax and enjoy my hot Carmel apple spice latte. I only have one more stop to make, Publix, they have gift cards for every place in town.. It seems strange to be done shopping this early, I hope the mail isn't late.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)