Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Destination

Nolan likes to show things to me that he is working on, or building. But, he likes to lead me to them, because he really enjoys the element of surprising me.
Today, he grabbed my hand and said "Mommy I want to show you something, close your eyes, take my hand and I will lead you there".
As I closed my eyes, I had fight the urge to peek, as he is watching me closely. He leads me, the longest way possible, sometimes forgetting to tell me the direction for me to go, causing me to bump into this wall, or stub a toe on that one. Sometimes I can feel myself, even with my eyes closed, trying to pull him along, because I know the direction. But,when I really listen to him, and pay attention to where he leads, I find that I get to the destination smoothly, and without too many scrapes.
When we arrive, he tells me to "open your eyes", and when I do,the first thing I see is his smiling face,as he stands beside me beaming with pride, at something he made just for me, that he wants me to share with him, and to tell him how awesome it is.You can not help, but get caught up in his enthusiasm for a tower of Lego's, or a picture painted diarrhea brown!
I think about how often this is so much like my faith. I want to walk straight, and come to my finish line with the least amount of bumps and bruises, only to find out, that I was walking with my eyes wide open and still slammed into that wall that was right in front of me.
I wonder if I close my eyes more, and rely not on myself, but more on my faith, if that is when I will come to my destination unscathed.
But, in my true fashion, as when Nolan is leading, I have to take a peek every now and then, to make sure that I am still in control, that I am still in charge of where I am going. I have to venture off course, thinking it will be a shortcut, to later find out I took the back roads. I have to fight my natural state to take over and allow God to be the leader, and do the guiding.
I need to close my eyes more, walk by my faith and not by my sight, and know that he will only lead me down a path of righteousness, maybe than and only than will my bruises and bumps heal, and maybe that is how faith grows. By trusting in the one you are allowing to lead, listening to the directions you are to go in, staying on course even when you have doubts.
For myself, I often get off course, I make lots of wrong turns, I try to always stay in control, and I have scars and wounds that were unnecessary.
So Maybe, God is saying to me now, "I have something to show you, take my hand, close your eyes,and I will lead you there" and if I choose to obey and let him take control, and if I choose to let him lead me to where he is taking me, and if I fight my human urge to take a peek,or go in my own direction, I will open my eyes at my destination and see my Heavenly Father staring down at me, smiling proudly just for me and saying."Well done".

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Another Reason Why I Love Home School!

Me: Regan, what do you want to do today?
Regan: I was thinking of writing a report on Ramses the Great and then making a pyramid out of sugar cubes?
Me: okay.I was thinking about going shopping at Kohl's. But your plan works too.
Regan.: Thanks mommy, I can't wait to learn more about this pharaoh I am sooooooooooo excited!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Happy Blogversary!

Today markes my one year blogversary! Last year I decided to start a blog so that I would have a place to write my own thoughts, ideas, or just plain vent! (if you get a chance you can read that first article again). It has been a great experience.
I have learned new things about myself and I have found a creative side that I never knew I had in me.
This blog has brought me much joy, and at times much stress! I have met new virtual friends, have been supported by my old friends and family.and through it all I have discovered that near or far, we all have more in common with each other, than we care to admit.
I have loved getting comments, advice and sometimes even heckles from my readers. I have pissed you all off, made you all laugh, cry, and hopefully think.
I have learned that words,when used as a weapon, often hurt worse than a physical blow. With one word , you can destroy someones faith, or their reputation. And yet, the use of one simple word can bring encouragement, joy, and hope. I have also found out how dangerous our words can become, and than later be used against us, or thrown back up in our faces.
In this last year I have increased my vocabulary, and improved on my spelling, but the most important thing I have learned this last year, is that I am more than a mother or wife, I am a woman who has something to say, and there are a few crazy people who actually want to listen! Thanks to all my readers out there, for reading my words, I promise to try and use them wisely!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Routine

The holidays are over, the lights and decorations are put away for another year and I couldn't be HAPPIER! Yes, I had a great Christmas and New Year's, but enough is enough. I am so ready to resume to my every day routine. I enjoy the holidays as much as the next person, but I really enjoy the simplicity of my life.
I am ready to get back to dinner on the table at a reasonable time, the kids in bed by 830pm , and I am even ready for Bob to get back in the sky!
Bob and I are telling Nolan's school this month that we have decided to home school him next year, and I couldn't be happier with our decision. It will be tricky with a 6th grader and a first grader, but I am ready for the challenge. In my spare time I have been researching first grade curriculum and reading as much as I can on teaching a little boy. The hardest part in all of this is waiting until next August for the new school year to begin!
I am back at the gym, and my ladies group begins this week. I have decided to do another triathlon in March, and then possibly the Danskin in May. I am trying to stay motivated so that I will complete my half marathon this year. So everything, is settling back into its rightful place, in my own little corner of the world, on my quiet street here in O town.