Monday, March 31, 2008
I see Nolan heading right for the swings, great, I am going to have to get up and go push! I was dreading leaving my seat knowing someone was coming to take it as soon as I left. Yes, lazy mom. I am still waiting for him to scream "Mommy come push me", I look up and there is my boy, pumping his legs all by himself! He is waving with one arm "look at me, look at me!" with pure joy and excitement displayed on his face! I was sitting in my seat with a stupid grin on mine, laughing and cheering for him. I had been trying to teach Nolan how to pump the swing on his own for a year now, and he just couldn't get the hang of it. He finally has. We had just had another milestone in our family.
At the moment I knew he had succeeded in swinging, I was overjoyed for him and yet, my heart sank, just a little. I realized that he can, and will be able to do a lot more things by himself. The days that he needs me will get smaller and smaller. He is growing up into an independent boy, and than a man.
I know I was dreading getting up and pushing him on that swing for twenty minutes, but now that I don't have to , I feel a sudden loss, I crave to push that swing just one more time. How I seem to wish my kids to be able to do things on their own, then when they do, I am reminded how fast time goes, their youth is only for a season.
I talk to mother's whose children no longer live at home, with plenty of free time, but longing for their children to be back home, when the house is full of laughter, noise and messes. I have decided, I don't want to have those regrets when my children leave, I want to know that I enjoyed everything and missed nothing. I don't need my "free"time now, I will have "too" much time, soon enough in the near future. I want to savor these moments, and remind myself to quit being lazy, read the damn book again, take time to listen to a joke I still don't get but pretend to laugh every time, act like I can't find them, when I know exactly where they are, and even though he doesn't need me to, I ran over there and gave him a real high push ducking under the swing screaming "UNDERDOG", if only for one more time!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
1. I will not drown(they have noodles)
2.I will not be eaten by gator or have amoeba enter my body through nose(they got rid of gators and water too cold for anything that small to live in)
3.I will not lose(they have designated loser!)
4.I will look good(new outfit)
5.I will finish(no other option if I want to get back into car to go home)
6.I will be an example to my children, that once you start something no matter how ugly you have to finish.
7. This defiantly goes into my legacy chapter of my life.
8. I will fit into my skinny jeans for at least another month!
9.I can find humor in anything, especially when it comes to laughing at myself!
Now, I need to go bike, run and swim-have fun sitting on your couch, did I tell you ,you suck!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
WE BLINKED, and then she was 10:)
Happy Birthday, Dudabug! We Love You!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
When we got to our mother's house, the first thing she said, as she looked at me was, "I just KNEW you would have to come too!" When my mother took off her glasses, we noticed her eyes were swollen, red and puffy. Our first reaction was "Gross! What's wrong with your face? Who beat you up?!" Needless to say, she wasn't amused. She was having an allergic reaction to her 2 year old mascara! She said, "What chu think it is?" I said, "I know what you have! It's called "xactly" disease!" My mom's eyes widened as she looked at me in panic! She said, "Wuz that!?" I said, "It's when your face looks "exactly" like your butt!" Vic and I rolled on the floor laughing. My mom said, "Oh, sheet. You girls' think you so funny!"
We then left for the Chinese restaurant. The whole way there, our mom was bragging to us about the price of the buffet. She said she eats there at least once a week because of the price! As we walked into the restaurant, Vic and I noticed the variety of the buffet choices. Mom saw us eyeing them. She then quickly pulled both of us aside and whispered, "Don't eat the crab legs, it's extra! Oh, and eat slow so I get my money's worth!" As Vic, Mom and I sat down and finish eating, we tell her we're full. She said, "You two are hanorexic! (we're pretty sure she meant anorexic!) You two are too skinny! You need to eat more so I get my money's worth!" Mom then went back to the buffet and filled up a second plate. As she sat back down, she looked at us and said, "I'm so full!" We said, "Then, why did you get more food?!" She was determined to get her money's worth and make up for what we lacked. At any cost, including gluttony!
The waitress then comes to the table, asks us if we're finished and then takes our plates and silverware. My mother looked at both of us in shock. "You take the silverware off that other table and eat some more! Now that waitress is gonna be thinking, "oh, good, we make money off those people because they didn't eat enough!" Mom was irritated with us. The bill came. It was only $20.00. Mom looked surprised, "Oh, that's not too bad. I pay it. That's pretty sheep for 3 people!"
Vic offered to put a tip on the table and left $4.00 (20%). Mom said, "That's too much, Bikki! She didn't do nothing!" She then proceeded to take back $1.00 of the tip money and put it in her pocket!
It's never a dull moment when you go out with Mamaw!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
BTW-the term is commitmentpobia or CP's -see I told you I wasn't making this stuff up!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
I am very independent woman and I am okay doing most things alone, not all, but most! Anyway, it worked for us. I had plenty of time for me, my friends, my activities. Fast forward to October 2007. Bob is now officially on salary and flies for one company. Yes, this has been a blessing, and has given our life some financial freedom.The problem is ,there is no more need to hustle. Bob will get a check, the same amount each month, whether he flies 15 days a month or none-Yes, it is that good- I am not complaining about that, its nice to know what he will get because it makes the accounting manager(me) able to budget. Here lies the issue. Bob is home ALOT now. Before if a trip was cancelled he would be on the horn talking to another company and out on another trip the next day, now a trip cancels, there is no call to be made. Again, this is not all bad. Except when you are used to having free time, time alone, girlfriend time, shopping time, etc. etc. Now I am finding myself with alot less of me time and alot more of us time. Don't get me wrong this makes me happy, I love being with Bob, its just sometimes I find myself asking, Do you have a trip tomorrow honey? Nope. Do you need to go to the airport? Nope. The reason I ask this, is not because I don't want him around, but you have to understand pilots are addicted to planes, flying things, and weather. When Bob is home this much he has no one to talk to about this stuff with except, you guessed it, me. I walk into a room, he is watching some history show on flying. He reads flying magazines, and can watch endless you tube videos of flying. He will then have this undying need to tell me EVERYTHING he is learning about flying, or knows about flying, and this is all I hear wha wha wha wha wha(like the charlie brown teacher) because it makes no sense to me. He will say the engine on a ... then he lost me. really, I have no interest. Sometimes at night I am not tired so I will say, Bob tell me about that thing that needed to be fixed on the airplane? he starts, excited that I am showing interest , the airplane... bam I am asleep. really.
You see I don't want my husband gone all the time, I am enjoying the fact that he will be here for Easter, Regan's birthday and he is actually going on a whole week vacation with my family this year! These things are great-most people will ask me how do you handle your husband gone all the time? I want to know how do you handle your husband home all the time? I swear it is easier when they travel, now I find I have more laundry,more dinners to cook, more house to clean,the bathroom toilet is an endless duty, I mean turn the light on at night already!
I can't even drink my DD in silent abode, I get, is there any left for me, how many cups do you drink a day? really this has been an adjustment for us. Isn't that funny? you think when they are gone you would love for them to be home all the time and then it happens and well... I really need to find him some old, retired army pilot to swap plane stories with. soon. Oh, Bob just walked in, guess what? He looks irratated, he tells me he has a week long Island trip next week!Oh baby, I'm going to miss you so much, I wish you didn't have to go. Secretly, I am trying not to smile. Such is the life of this pilot's wife! Now, where did he put his new bathing suit and sunscreen? I better go help him pack!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
"Regan I can't believe my baby girl is going to be ten! Your growing up to fast"
"Well if it makes you feel any better I'm not that excited about growing up either"
"well as you get older you get to do more things"
"Like what?pay taxes,get a job, pay bills, nah I'm just not that interested."
While reading Regan a post on my blog called "Go Yankees"
"NO fair you went to a Yankee's game.?"
As I am getting ready-
"Mommy don't forget your boobie holders!" as Nolan hands me my bra.
Trying to get Nolan ready while watching Sponge Bob
"Mommy can't go to school today"
"I don't feel good"
"my elbow hurts"
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Yes, I am that cool, or it could have been the "free" meal, Nah I'm cool!
Monday, March 10, 2008
As each player would stand up to bat, they would wait for their "perfect" pitch, after they hit the ball they would throw the bat, and always took time to wave to the crowd,with a proud smile on their face as if to say "did you see what I just did?" and then take off for whatever base was closest. It was by far the best, most exciting game I have ever seen! I am also very much IN LOVE with the best,and cutest player on the team. Oh, Did I mention Nolan is playing T-ball this year. Yes, He plays for the Yankees!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
When Bob and I were first married I would worry endlessly about him. I would sit by my phone and wait for his voice to say,"Hi baby, I'm here" Oh those few simple words could ease my anxiety,and calm all of my fears! I remember one time he had a trip to some remote island.There was only one phone on the island(this was when you only had beepers) so by the time he had gotten there, he could not "check in" with me. This was the longest night of my life. I kept waking up,waiting for him to call,the clock ticking hour by hour,I was imagining the worst,(the plane crashed and he was at the bottom of the ocean with a beeper continuously going off, beep,beep,beep) I woke up at 5am to call the tower and give them his tail number to tell me what happened, I waited for the police to show up at my door, can I say it was the worst experience for a newly married bride! When at 7am the phone rang and I heard the most amazing sound on the other end, my husband's voice:"Hey Baby, I am so sorry I didn't sleep all night,I knew you were so worried about me!" and then he explained why he couldn't call.
After that incident I started to pray for me to have peace when Bob went on a trip. I realized that I could not let the fear that something may happen to him paralyze me. I always think it is ironic that I would have married a pilot( I have control issues,I am a woman), until I realized it was the perfect plan for me! Being the wife of a pilot has helped me to grow in my faith and lean on the peace that only Christ can give me. God has used my marriage to shape my character into things that I never would have been able to shape otherwise!
I remember in the beginning it was really hard to let go of the fear, I would try not to worry but in the back of my mind I always knew how long a trip would take and when I should expect my call, but as I continued to grow and rely on my faith, it became less and less frequent. Until one day the fear was no longer there. I stopped losing sleep over the late night trips, I stopped watching the weather report, I stopped trying to keep track of times it took to get somewhere, I was released. (incidently, this is about the time that we got flight tracker!)
I always pray for Bob when he is flying and I will always be a little concerned for his safety especially, when the weather is bad, but I have learned that God is in control of Bob's life to. He keeps him safe when he leaves for trips and when he comes home. I know that I have learned that being a pilot's wife takes strength,patience, and Faith. Strength to take care of the home while he is away,patience when he has to leave, and faith for everything. My heart will ache every time I hear about a pilot losing their lives in a plane accident, I cannot imagine ever getting that phone call, but I don't worry about it anymore, I know that it is out of my control. So now I just enjoy Bob living his life's dream, doing something he is passionate about-this is one of Bob's "races" in life that he won, and when he comes home I am always waiting for my pilot husband at the finish line!
Friday, March 7, 2008
1.what's on your ipod?
2.what is the most embarassing song on your ipod you don't want anyone to know you are listening to?
I will start.
Answers-right now I run to-
pump it-Black Eyed Peas
Big Girls Don't Cry-Fergie
Dont Cha-Pussy Cat Dolls
Lose My Breathe-Destiny's Child
September-Earth wind and Fire
2. It is a toss up between, here is comes
Gold Digger-Kanye West
I bet you never knew! I love 70's but hey I gotta have something to keep this body moving!
It is funny how I had been buying into the lie that I was feeding myself, it was so easy to "slip"back into it. Usually is just creeps up on me without any warning. One day I feel strong, confident and sure, and then I let one incident destroy all that I had instilled in myself this year, all of the hard work swept under the rug. How did I get here again? I know how I got there because I have been here before, you know the old saying one step forward two steps back.
Perseverance is being steadfast. I think this is why I needed to go back to what my goal was, my mission was when I started out on this thing. If I would not have written it down, during these tough days ,I think I would have forgotten it, or let the wind take me somewhere else. The scripture that comes to mind is Heb 12:1 let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Your race may be different than mine,it probably is, whatever your race is, press forward , be steadfast and complete it! What have you been giving up on lately? a marriage, having a child, taking a class, a dream, a job, YOURSELF? Well, I challenge you to start today, get up and press forward. I encourage you to seek your mission, your goal ! You can not complete your race if you give up. Your race is as important as mine, and like mine there will be a finish line that you need to cross,but if you don't ever start, they take down the banners and all the people go home. Life is not meant to be painless, or joyless, it is meant to be lived with fullness, great anticipation and JOY!
I am officially signed up for my very first triathlon, it is April 5th.I want you to know this is a full month before the one I was originally training for, (isn't this so like God, you think I need more time,and he pushes you out there,saying no you don't, Your ready for this!) and guess what,I am ready to cross that finish line, to complete something that I have started, to know that I won (no not the triathlon)but that I won my race. There will be many more races for me to run throughout my life, but none will compare to my first one, the one that has taught me to stay true to myself, that I can and will be the woman I am called to be, that I will let no one, no circumstance, stop me from finishing my race. You may run along side me, I would love that, but if you can't, then kindly get out of my way, because I choose to experience life,running in the fast lane, taking the turns head on, with courage and strength knowing whom I belong to, not sitting on the sideline waiting for my turn, My turn is now! I am not naive enough to think that my race will be mapped out for me, with distances provided and a change of clothes,I have just decided that no matter what course, what distance I will persevere through this race called"life"!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
1 He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2 He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3 And, even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was work to do.
and for my single friends(okay its funny to us married folk too!)
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"The girl said, "No," and she lived happily ever after, went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a wardrobe full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on. The End
I hope this made you all laugh!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I was listening to Bob on the phone tonight talking to a buddy. Mind you this "best friend",and Bob have not talked in months and yet they were talking like they had never stopped. I was slightly amused and curious, so when he got off the phone I said "Bob, how long has it been since you talke to B------?"He shrugs his shoulders and says "I dunno, a few months. Why?" ME-Well aren't you mad at him? Bob-Uh no, why? Me-(DUH) Well I would be pissed if my girlfriends didn't call me, or email me every day, much less a few months, they would surely be off my "best friends" list. Him- Guys don't work that way.We talk and then don't until we need to talk again.
Another difference between them and us.Another reason I am glad I am a girl. I would hate to not talk to my girl friends every day. I love knowing that when I see my friends numbers our conversations will be long, and juicy. Girlfriends just need to Know, know what you ask? EVERYTHING! I never really knew how much I love the girlfriend thing, so I thought about this. Every woman needs at least four best friends because each one is different and yet imparitive to our lives. Girlfriend #1-she is the one you go to when you are feeling low and need a pick me up. You made a bad choice and she is always the one to take your side no matter what. If you think it is a good idea to jump off a bridge at 30 stories ,she is right behind you. she is the one that one day you say I want to see Paris , she says that is the greatest thing you should,but if the next day you cant go, she will then say ,its horrible you don't ever want to go-Girlfriend # 2-This is your friend that you go to who always listens to your crap. the one that has heard it 100 times and yet patiently will listen to it again. you sometimes have time to listen to hers but she is the listener for you and mostly it just about you and that is what she is there for,so you talk and talk and she never really gives you advise ,but somehow at the end of the conversation she has sloved all of your life's problems, usually with a hmm,is that right,I see how you would feel that way, this is a treasured friend who hopefully has another girlfriend #2 ,but well it ain't you.Girlfriend #3-this is the friend that you let loose with. the friend that you can call and make a plan and she will say, sounds great-what time? I'm there. the one that you can count on to drop everything,be spontaneous and just show up and have a great time. No worries friend. Girlfriend # 4-this is the friend that is ALWAYS straight with you. she tells you what you want to hear,even when you didn't ask,but somehow she knows she has to tell you anyway. she is the one that knows you better than you know yourself. she is the one that will tell you something and makes you think, Oh I never thought of it that way. she is honest with you, and gently tells you the TRUTH even when it would be easier to tell you a lie. she sticks by you NO MATTER WHAT. but not in the girlfriend # 1 way in the I know you and I like you anyway kinda way. I know all of my girlfriends are thinking I wonder which one I am? but before you decide let me tell you about Girlfriend #5-she is the all inclusive,the listener,the talker,the one that gives advise,the fun-time friend-she is the one that I am lucky enough to have in ALL of you. I have never in my life been so blessed with so many girlfriends(some old,some new) that have all of these qualities and so many more. I am honored to have gotten to know each of you and have you in my life(You know who you are) I am so thankful we don't just talk once in awhile, but that everyday in some way(email,phone, text) we spend time together, going through life together,sharing one another's burdens and joys together. Life is great, but I will say it again its even greater with your Girlfriends!!
Nolan was staring at this man with a child like intensity, I knew he was thinking about it really hard, his eyes were big and he couldn't pull his eyes off of the scene. I knew that at any moment the hard questions that you get from a typical curious five year old were coming. In anticipation for the questions that were to come, I was starting to rehearse my answers, when Nolan looks up at me and says, "Mommy, you know that guy that was sleeping on the ground over there?"He is real serious here, Yes,"Well mommy he's a lost pirate and he was on the pirates of the Caribbean (he says it like cariban), really? ,looking around, "Yeah, I wonder where Jack Sparrow is?" I looked down at him, and saw the belief in his eyes, so trying not to laugh, said " Yes,baby he sure is a pirate and we better walk fast not to wake him, he might take us to his ship and make us walk the plank!" and with that we ran as fast as we could to the park, and Nolan has been telling everyone about the real life pirate he saw at the park! I love that! Kids make every day an adventure, I wish I still had that kind of imagination! and that vagrant will never know that he made my boy's whole day, which proves my point, we are all significant! even when, it is just to make a little boy happy for a moment:)