Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Committment Issues

I think I have commitment issues. No not the big kind either. I am very committed to my marriage and kids. I am talking about the small ones. The ones where someone will say, hey lets have lunch on Tuesday, I stutter, Do you want a play date on Monday? I panic. How about this one, I love to have my nails done, but I can't commit to being faithful going every two weeks so they usually look worse than the original! Its a problem . My sister begs me to come to NC,I say yes, when it gets closer,I can't. I never tell my children when I am going to take them to Disney,a movie or even the mall, I am too afraid I will not make it there, and then will have to explain why we aren't going. This is why they think I am so spontaneous, because I never fully commit until the moment we leave. This is a problem. I know there is a word for it. I have committed to my triathlon, the training, not so much! My one good friend always give me an out. She is so good to me! She know I will commit and then freak,so she has found a way for me to always have an exit strategy. This really works too, because I rarely, if ever, cancel on her, just knowing I have an out give me relief and the anxiety is gone. I think it is that I am afraid to disappoint anyone. I have a warped vision that this world (my world) will fall apart if I am not there to take care of it-its pure pride mixed with arrogance? a little. I realized I this was a problem when my baby girl did two things, wrote her cousin a letter and told her she was 97% sure we were coming, and yesterday she told her brother she was 95% sure he could sleep in her room! She is learning about the never fully commit syndrome. I don't want to pass this down to her! So, I am making you all a promise, I tell you I am committed to finding the solution! No more broken dates, lunches or trips, I am committed to a resolution! I will research, until I can figure out the answer! I am 80% sure I will do this tomorrow:)

BTW-the term is commitmentpobia or CP's -see I told you I wasn't making this stuff up!

5 comments:

D's Mom said...

So are you going on the trip or not? lol

Victoria's Secrets said...

Blah, Blah, Blah. That's what I have to say about that. My kids and I have been victims of your so called "commitments", so I'll say it again...blah, blah, blah.

The Pilot's Wife said...

D' mom, does that answer your question? My sister is coming here! I can't wait for you to meet her!Me

St. of Words said...

wait a minute...why is my mom coming there? this would be a perfect time to get rid of your commitment disease and go to NC like you said. ;) that's my prescription and the answer to your problem...that's all i'm saying.

that blog could have been written by me, i 100% relate to that. i hate telling people i will do something, it makes me feel so trapped. i typically have a handful of close friends who know this about me, so when i do cancel, they aren't mad. people who don't know me well, would think i am a flake. did you pass this down to me biotch?? love you!

Anonymous said...

LOVE YOU ME!