Saturday, March 15, 2008

New Adjustment

So its like this. Bob spent most ,okay the last 12 years of our marriage, as a contract corporate pilot. What this means is that he was paid on a per trip basis, so when he wasn't flying he wasn't getting paid. That being said, Bob flew ALOT. He would be on trips and out of town for days then come home a couple of days and then hustle more trips. He has missed birthdays, anniversaries,weddings, holidays, vacations, and yes, even a funeral(my dads),Well he made it to the service then had to exit out of the building as soon as it was over to get the the airport to fly to yet another nameless destination. Although this was not ideal, it was what is was.

I am very independent woman and I am okay doing most things alone, not all, but most! Anyway, it worked for us. I had plenty of time for me, my friends, my activities. Fast forward to October 2007. Bob is now officially on salary and flies for one company. Yes, this has been a blessing, and has given our life some financial freedom.The problem is ,there is no more need to hustle. Bob will get a check, the same amount each month, whether he flies 15 days a month or none-Yes, it is that good- I am not complaining about that, its nice to know what he will get because it makes the accounting manager(me) able to budget. Here lies the issue. Bob is home ALOT now. Before if a trip was cancelled he would be on the horn talking to another company and out on another trip the next day, now a trip cancels, there is no call to be made. Again, this is not all bad. Except when you are used to having free time, time alone, girlfriend time, shopping time, etc. etc. Now I am finding myself with alot less of me time and alot more of us time. Don't get me wrong this makes me happy, I love being with Bob, its just sometimes I find myself asking, Do you have a trip tomorrow honey? Nope. Do you need to go to the airport? Nope. The reason I ask this, is not because I don't want him around, but you have to understand pilots are addicted to planes, flying things, and weather. When Bob is home this much he has no one to talk to about this stuff with except, you guessed it, me. I walk into a room, he is watching some history show on flying. He reads flying magazines, and can watch endless you tube videos of flying. He will then have this undying need to tell me EVERYTHING he is learning about flying, or knows about flying, and this is all I hear wha wha wha wha wha(like the charlie brown teacher) because it makes no sense to me. He will say the engine on a ... then he lost me. really, I have no interest. Sometimes at night I am not tired so I will say, Bob tell me about that thing that needed to be fixed on the airplane? he starts, excited that I am showing interest , the airplane... bam I am asleep. really.
You see I don't want my husband gone all the time, I am enjoying the fact that he will be here for Easter, Regan's birthday and he is actually going on a whole week vacation with my family this year! These things are great-most people will ask me how do you handle your husband gone all the time? I want to know how do you handle your husband home all the time? I swear it is easier when they travel, now I find I have more laundry,more dinners to cook, more house to clean,the bathroom toilet is an endless duty, I mean turn the light on at night already!
I can't even drink my DD in silent abode, I get, is there any left for me, how many cups do you drink a day? really this has been an adjustment for us. Isn't that funny? you think when they are gone you would love for them to be home all the time and then it happens and well... I really need to find him some old, retired army pilot to swap plane stories with. soon. Oh, Bob just walked in, guess what? He looks irratated, he tells me he has a week long Island trip next week!Oh baby, I'm going to miss you so much, I wish you didn't have to go. Secretly, I am trying not to smile. Such is the life of this pilot's wife! Now, where did he put his new bathing suit and sunscreen? I better go help him pack!


St. of Words said...

aunt b you crack me up. so much of it is just what you are used to and have accustomed yourself to. teryn and i talk about that. her musician wife lifestyle works for her and chad and she likes it. whereas i, would be miserable. i like the typical lifestyle of dinner each night together with thad and knowing he doesn't leave for business trips. it's crazy how we are all so different and feel like our way is the only way.
bob is just gonna have to lay off on these airplanes stories!! and let me tell you one thing, the moment he does actually get the first summer to spend the entire week at the beach with our family...i guarantee you by next year, he will be purposefully finding a trip to fly for so he doesn't have to go! just give it till the beach...he'll be back with the old job. :)

Teryn Chapin said...

i love my me time. i'm right there with ya aunt b. LOVE YOU!

Victoria's Secrets said...

I think it must run in our blood because all of us like our "me" time! I say it takes a secure woman who enjoys being alone some of the time! That's us!