Friday, July 31, 2009

Lessons Learned

I will try not to saturate my blog with pregnancy stories, but lets face it , being pregnant and the things you go through is just good blog material. Now that I am embarking on my second trimester ,I thought I would share a few things I learned thus far.

Things I have learned through the first trimester:

1.You can gain 10 pounds the minute the test shows positive.

2.Its not the baby making me fat, its the ice cream, cheeseburgers and macaroni!

3.Mexican food and pickles are the worst foods to throw up

4. Raisin Bran Crunch and Honey bunches of Oats, taste just as sweet the second time

5.I do not chew my food well, before swallowing

6.Lettuce does not digest very fast

7.There is a certain angle to hang your head over the toilet so the water doesn't splash back in your face when puking

8. Take your pre-natal vitamins before bed,you will have more of a chance of keeping it down. and Why do they make them the size of a horse pill, when you are already sick?

9. Calling it morning sickness is a joke, it can and has lasted all day not just in the morning.

10. Morning sickness does not go away at 12 weeks,

11. You cry at everything, yesterday I cried when they closed down the chicken ranch(TNT movie -The Best Little Whore House in Texas)

12. I have to sleep 18 hours a day

13. You can use the pregnancy card to get your kids to behave:)

14, You can use the pregnancy card to get your husband to do... well just about anything:)

15. You really are not eating for two, I mean the little bean is 2-3 inch's long, how much food does the baby need?

16.If my boobs get any bigger they will need their own zip code

17. My friends talked about me getting fat before they heard the news

18.I was a coffee addict,now the smell terrorizes me and looking at the coffee pot, l makes me nauseous

19. My children want to name the baby 1.Harry Potter, 2. Patrick Star or 3. Sponge bob

20.There is a 50/50 chance that the Chinese gender predictor test is wrong

21.Dreaming is alot more fun now that I am pregnant:)Bob thinks so too

22. Brushing my teeth is like an Olympic event

23. No coffee, no chocolate, no seafood, turns me into pregzilla

24. I have two new best friends their names are John and Ralph


25. I already love this baby with all my heart,and even though I joke about the unpleasantness of the first trimester, I wouldn't change a thing:)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Hidden Blessings

The past year has been a year of loss, and growth for me. As most of you know I suffered a miscarriage last yr around Feb 2008, but what most of you don't know is I had another one in July of 2008.
The second one was much harder to deal with than the first one. The feeling of failure and inadequacy was almost too much to endure. Bob and I had not actually made plans to have another baby at the time, but we had not been doing anything to prevent it from happening either. But, whether you are planning for a baby or not, once you see the positive sign on the test, that baby is yours, loved, and wanted. So the loss is just as heart breaking.
Bob and I decided we were not taking anymore chances after the second one, and became much more careful. I on the other hand, still had that desire, for another baby. I just felt in my heart it wasn't finished for me. But, knowing my husband, when he makes up his mind, there is no point in trying to change it. He was not taking anymore chances. He told me he didn't want anymore children, that he felt our family was complete. However, I felt different. But I knew I wouldn' be able to change his mind, on my own.
So I began praying. "God, please either change Bob's heart, or take the desire to have another baby from mine." I prayed this all the time, never letting Bob know anything. By the end of the year, I realized his heart wasn't changing, and I threw myself into training for triathlons. I focused on my goals, and the training helped me heal. I even started looking in Jan 2009 for a urologist,for Bob. I thought, if we were not going to have anymore children, then I couldn't take anymore chances. Plus, I had gotten really into my training,my races, life was getting really good, and easy. My kids are at a great age, of independence. So I felt,God must have heard my prayer and decided to take my desire away instead of changing Bob's heart.
Boy, just when you figure God out, he throws a curve ball. In march 2009, Bob came to me out of the blue and says,"Brenda, I've been thinking. I would love to have another baby." My mouth dropped to the floor. "UM What?", Bob, "Yes, I really want to have another baby and add to our family. Its what I live for." Okay, now I am totally shocked. I don't know what to say, because I had been actively getting numbers for consultants from urologist. Bob and I talked all night about it, and when it was over, I told him I needed time to think and pray about it, because I was confused. Bob is really patient.I waited weeks, and would asked him at random,"so you still want a baby?", He would simply say, "100%" then smile.He must have known I didn't know what to do or think.
I began questioning God and He began answering me:
Why now,God? Why not last year? He replied." My timing is perfect."
Why not the other two babies, God? He replied, " My plan is perfect."
Why change his mind, when I was finally accepting the alternative? He replied,"You asked me too."
And I hate to say it, But I was like, and "Why now when I finally am in the best shape of my life? and He replied, "What do you think I was getting you in shape for?"
"But I am afraid, it will happen again." He replied, "Trust in your Lord with all your heart, and with all your soul, and depend not on your own understanding."
And then I knew the desire had never been taken from my heart, He had just quieted it, so that I could heal and be prepared for His next plan for my life. I told Bob right away when I knew my answer. Okay, lets go for it, I want to!"
Bob and I thought we would try one more time,we honestly didn't know if we could, or would get pregnant again. We just knew this was God's plan for us, to try.
I did have one condition, to wait until after my triathlon, because I had worked so hard for this race. Bob was fine with that, he actually thought it was the best idea.
We decided we would just not try to prevent anything from happening. We gave ourselves 6 months and if it didn't happen by then, we would reevaluate if we would need "help".
Two weeks after my triathlon,I just knew with my whole being. I took the test three days before my missed period, and knew it would be positive. IT WAS! God had given us our miracle, He had given us his promise. I knew with all my heart this baby was God's child, and nothing was going to happen this time. I am now almost four months pregnant, and we have seen our baby twice. It has not been all easy, I have not stopped morning sickness yet, and some days, I have to pray for God's reminder, that everything is going to be fine.But, I find in my weakness I lean more on His strength.
We were asked at our last appointment, if we were going to have any genetics test, Bob and I said in unison, no. We have accepted this gift from God, He has created this child for us,this was His Plan for our lives, His promise for our family, and we choose to trust in Him.
I know that we are fortunate, to be able to have another child, and I do not take that for granted. I know there are many women who suffer from infertility, and I am very sensitive to that.But, when God shows up so clearly in your life , you cannot keep that hidden, it is not for me, but for His Glory.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

St.George Island Family Vacation 2009

When the day of the race was over, Bob and I headed to our annual family vacation to St. George Island. What a great way to celebrate the end of my race. Not only was I going to spend a week with my family, and extended family, Bob was going to be able to be with us for the whole week! No flights, no last minute schedule changes, but every day on the beach with his family. This is a special bonus for us.
We had a smaller crowd this year, because it was held in May, and alot of the cousins were still in school. Another great reason to home school, we can vacation any time we want! We still had a great time, but those that were not there, were missed. It was alot more laid back this year,the crowds were alot smaller, but the weather was perfect, and the company was excellent.
My brother and I were able to run in the mornings together,and this was a nice treat. The kids loved daddy being able to spend time with them,fishing, swimming in the ocean,and in the pool.We ate oysters at our favorite restaurant and sang Karaoke at our favorite pub. On our last day of the trip, we all went out to lunch and the kids got to pick out their souvenirs,little did we know, Bob and I were taking home a souvenir of our own:)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Run

Well it took me as long to run the race, as it did for me to finally write this post! I should just take a sabbatical every summer, as time goes so fast, and I never seem to have enough time to sit and write.

After getting out off of my bike, my legs were screaming. Riding on a bike with a chain breaking, and in 6 gear for 12.3 miles was excruciating for me. Once I dismounted my bike, I really felt so weak in the legs, I wanted to just stop. I had to walk my bike back into the transition area.I took off my helmet, switched to a hat,found my sunglasses, and downed some energy berries and water, and headed off. I knew that I could make up some time with my running. I had been working really hard on improving my run. It started out really slow, I walked a few feet to get my barrings,then I decided, I did not come this far to walk my race. I started running slowly at first, just trying to get my legs to cooperate, I kept telling myself, one foot in front of the other. Then it stated to get easier. With each footstep, I could hear touch the ground, I gained more strength and more courage. I kept my eyes focused on the person in front of me. Every time I wanted to walk, I would pick out a target and think just make it to there, once I would reach that goal, I would pick out a new target. It was slow, it was steady,but I was getting the job done.
When I came around the first turn and realized I had just finished the first mile, I knew, if I can do one mile, I can do two. When I finished the second mile, I again knew, if I can finish two miles I can finish three. I felt completely exhausted, my body wanted to come to a complete halt, I knew the only way to finish my race the way I wanted, was to use my mind. I had always heard that running, or anything we do, is 40% physical and 60% mental. I believe that now. My father used to say to me when we would run together and I would want to quit,"Bren what the mind can conceive the body will achieve". So I started chanting this on that last 1/4 mile. I felt that with his headband on, and his chant we were running this race together.Running 3.2 miles does not seem like much,but after swimming and biking,it seemed like a marathon.
I was really proud of my run, 31 minutes later, I was crossing that finish line. I knew I had done my best race, I had pushed through all the obstacles that came my way, through the pain in my legs, and through the exhaustion, I crossed that finish line a different woman than the one who started that race.