Nolan likes to show things to me that he is working on, or building. But, he likes to lead me to them, because he really enjoys the element of surprising me.
Today, he grabbed my hand and said "Mommy I want to show you something, close your eyes, take my hand and I will lead you there".
As I closed my eyes, I had fight the urge to peek, as he is watching me closely. He leads me, the longest way possible, sometimes forgetting to tell me the direction for me to go, causing me to bump into this wall, or stub a toe on that one. Sometimes I can feel myself, even with my eyes closed, trying to pull him along, because I know the direction. But,when I really listen to him, and pay attention to where he leads, I find that I get to the destination smoothly, and without too many scrapes.
When we arrive, he tells me to "open your eyes", and when I do,the first thing I see is his smiling face,as he stands beside me beaming with pride, at something he made just for me, that he wants me to share with him, and to tell him how awesome it is.You can not help, but get caught up in his enthusiasm for a tower of Lego's, or a picture painted diarrhea brown!
I think about how often this is so much like my faith. I want to walk straight, and come to my finish line with the least amount of bumps and bruises, only to find out, that I was walking with my eyes wide open and still slammed into that wall that was right in front of me.
I wonder if I close my eyes more, and rely not on myself, but more on my faith, if that is when I will come to my destination unscathed.
But, in my true fashion, as when Nolan is leading, I have to take a peek every now and then, to make sure that I am still in control, that I am still in charge of where I am going. I have to venture off course, thinking it will be a shortcut, to later find out I took the back roads. I have to fight my natural state to take over and allow God to be the leader, and do the guiding.
I need to close my eyes more, walk by my faith and not by my sight, and know that he will only lead me down a path of righteousness, maybe than and only than will my bruises and bumps heal, and maybe that is how faith grows. By trusting in the one you are allowing to lead, listening to the directions you are to go in, staying on course even when you have doubts.
For myself, I often get off course, I make lots of wrong turns, I try to always stay in control, and I have scars and wounds that were unnecessary.
So Maybe, God is saying to me now, "I have something to show you, take my hand, close your eyes,and I will lead you there" and if I choose to obey and let him take control, and if I choose to let him lead me to where he is taking me, and if I fight my human urge to take a peek,or go in my own direction, I will open my eyes at my destination and see my Heavenly Father staring down at me, smiling proudly just for me and saying."Well done".