Today, at Nolan's school he had a great big surprise for me. The teachers were all excited for him to show me his newest accomplishment. We all went out on the side of the school where there is a big grassy, flat field. Nolan and his buddy Josh, brought out this bike(minus training wheels!),I stared curiously, and Nolan got on the bike, with his friend holding the back, to give him a push, and off he went,riding this two wheeled bike all over the field!Bob and I had been trying to teach Nolan at home, but with no success. And here in just one afternoon, his friend Josh had not only taught him, but was being patient and excited to watch his friend show off and succeed.
I started crying,for two reasons. One, because he and his buddy looked so darned cute, and two because,I know what he doesn't, that this is just one more step closer to his total independence.
Nolan came over to me, and our conversation went something like this:
" Mommy do you want to help me this time?
" Yes, Nolan I would love too. Tell me what to do."
"okay, first you are gonna hold on to the back of the bike,while I get my feet right, then you are gonna push me forward, and follow behind a little bit, then you are gonna let go, and I am gonna take off all by myself!"
"Nolan, what if I am not ready to let go,"
"Mommy, you have to, because I will be ready."
"Nolan, what if I can't let go.?"
"Mommy, you will be, I will tell you when it's time."
"Nolan, I am not ready, give me more time."
"Mommy, now is the time."
"Okay, Nolan, your right, its time, mommy will hold on for as long as I need to, then when you tell me I will let go."
"Mommy, what if I fall, where will you be?"
"I will be right next to you, I will pick you up, dust you off and help you to get back on to try again."
"Okay, mommy, here we go, this is gonna be wicked fun!". and with that my little boy,changed into my little man right in front of my eyes.
I held on to that bike for as long as I could, I gave him the push forward he needed,I ran with him for awhile and then, when I knew he wanted me to, I let go-
I stood back and watched in amazement as he zipped through the field, turned into a circle, and then I wept tears of joy, sorrow,and pride.
I know that there is a time for everything, and I know that now is the time for me to push him to go further than he thought he could,to stand behind him while he grows up,to let go of him when he is ready,to watch him from the sidelines cheering his success,and to be close by him so if he falls, I can be there to pick him up, brush him off,and help him to get back on.
Nolan, can not wait until tomorrow to show his father what he can do. He can not wait to show the rest of his buddies.For now,he told me, he only wants to ride in the small,grassy,field at his school.He says, he is not ready for the big,cement street just yet. I think he knows there will be bigger bumps and bruises on that road.I told Nolan that was fine.We could both use more practice on the little, grassy, field for awhile.I told Nolan that there is no hurry, but that when he was ready,we will go down that road together!