My pool is my biggest Nemesis. I was so eager to have one when we were house hunting, and now I realize sometimes even when you think you want something so bad, and you finally get it 1. Its never as great as it seems 2. You may want it, but probably don't need it 3. If you husband warns you over and over, you will be sorry, you may want to listen to him, because then you spend the next five years hearing,"I told You so!".
Anyway, although its been a hardship for me, my children have spent hours of fun times in that pool,and have had some great parties. But, it has come from hours of mine and Bob's sacrifice of cleaning, chemicals,and scrubbing. And sometimes to no avail, it still will turn as green and slimy as a swamp!
The past month we have been dealing with this thing. And finally today, it actually looks teal! Not clear, but I can see the top step! SOOOO it got me thinking as I stare out my window looking at the pool this morning. It really could be a metaphor for my life!
I spend lots of time in my life putting things into it, things that I am hoping will change the swampiness of it, to clear. It is so hard for me to keep the balance sometimes, that I want to give up, and just call a repair man, so that I don't have to continue to dig into the problem.
Like keeping my pool clean, I want a quick fix with my life, I want to pour something into it, and be done. If I could just add this, maybe some of that, and take out some of this, and whoola! Its back to being the perfect life, I dreamed it would be.
But, in actuality, it takes such hard work, consistency,and fierce dedication that I fall short so much. I peer into my life and see that there is still, maybe not the swamp, but the green and slimy. I know that the ingredient I have been forgetting to pour in, is my Heavenly Father.I know then, that I have been trying to clear my life, with things that will not work, things that will even possibly change the color back to swamp. I realize in this crazy, mean, complicated world, only Christ can change my swampy water into the crystal clear water that I so long to see. Okay, maybe it will never be crystal clear water in this lifetime, but I would, at this point, settle for some light green! I don't know why, I haven't learned this yet,I don't know why I keep trying to clear it on my own. But,maybe that is how it works, your life is clear when you are born, and then slowly because you are not taking the time to nuture it, pray about it, or pour Christ into it,your color starts to slowly turn teal, then green and then swampy. And then we try on our own to "fix" it, and it just continues to get worse and worse,it may even clear temporarily, but until the key ingredient is added, Jesus Christ, we will never clear the water, it is simply impossible.
I know that my pool did not start off as a swamp, but that's what it became. And even though I sometimes get the color to change , I know the moment I stop pouring in the "right" stuff, it will turn again. Its a vicious cycle.
Yes, my pool is finally clearing up,after weeks of working on it. After making 5 trips to the pool store,and 8 gallons of chlorine, Bob and I finally realized we had been leaving out a chemical that we needed, and that no matter how hard we worked, it was never going to change without it.
We put that chemical in last night,and this morning-it finally changed. No, its not the perfect color yet, but we will still continue to add some of this, and take out some of that diligently until we see the bottom. But, we will not forget that main chemical again!