Monday, April 27, 2009
When it comes to my triathlon, swimming in a lake is my biggest fear. I mean you can't die riding your bike, or running a trail, but you can die from getting in the middle of a lake and not being able to get back!At my first triathlon I also panicked in the water, and ever since it has scared me to swim in a lake.
But, it is a fear I decided to face last Friday morning. There is a lake in O town, that many people have recommended to me, to practice my lake swims. I had been very reluctant, but knowing the race is two weeks away, I decided that it was time. Bob's mom came over at 530am, to watch the kids, so that Bob could take me to the lake. We needed to be there by 630am.
When we first got there, I was scared out of my mind! It was still dark, and I told Bob that I might just watch this time. Bob was encouraging me, and telling my I was going to be fine. I looked across the lake and the .6 mile swim might as well been 20miles. I watched the other swimmers gather, placing their swim caps on, spitting in their goggles, getting ready for the swim. I was holding back, taking it all in, staring at the fake gators that were at the lakes entrance, watching the over sized turtles eat their breakfast. Bob knew I was scared, he could see the fear in my eyes. I asked him if he would take the swim with me(my husband was a collegiate swimmer,so I knew the swim would be easy for him) but, he said no thanks! I gave him a look. I stepped down into the water, and felt sand. I placed my cap on my head and my goggles on, I slowly walked out to the edge of the food chain, and thought "why am I doing this again?". I took one look back at Bob, and dove in, head first. I came up for air, and realized I hadn't sunk. I started my free style swim, counting 1-2-3 breathe,1-2-3 breathe, I started to get a panic feeling, I looked up and saw the other swimmers around me and put my face back in the water.I prayed, talked to myself, tried to think of anything else besides swimming in a dark lake, at dusk, with alligators, and possibly amoebas! It was working.. With every breathe and stroke I made it got a little easier, my breathing became more controlled, my rhythm evenly matched. I would look up and see where I was going, and knew I was going to make it. I actually started to even enjoy it. It was freeing,to face my fear head on. When I got back from my swim I was looking for Bob. I couldn't see him on the dock,and just then I turned around, and out pops this swimmers head that I recognized!
It was my faithful husband. He had swam behind my at a small distance the whole way! I couldn't believe it. I said, "Bob, why did you swim? Did you think I couldn't make it?", and he said, "Not at all honey, I knew you could make the swim, I just wanted to make sure you didn't have a panic attack." so I said,"Then why didn't you tell me you were gonna swim it with me?",he looked at me and said," Because, I knew you could do it, but you needed to know you could do it, by yourself. You are stronger than you think!" What an amazing man. He knew I needed to prove to myself, that I could do it. Bob has always believed in me, he knew I needed to start believing in myself. I am going back to swim Lucky Lakes twice this week. and I am taking along a few great women, who need to prove it to themselves.