I have lived in my neighborhood for 8 years now, and one of my favorite houses is the one directly across the street. Its a yellow house, always manicured neatly, and simple. I always feel like the sun is just always shining on that house. I don't know if its the sunbeam color, or if I just imagine that the house is just happy. Can houses have personalities? I don't know, but if they did, this one would be saying "welcome, come on in, put your feet up and have some ice cold tea!" I think I also love it, because a very special lady lives there. I don't get to see her much, or spend lots of time with her, because we are both in different seasons of our lives.
H. is starting her empty nesting phase after raising five boys, homeschooling all of them! I am in the middle, with a very busy teenager, a preteen and a three year old. So what happens is, every few days to a week, we end up meeting at our mailboxes. Its not on purpose, we don't plan them, they just happen. We deemed these are "mail box meetings". You see neither of us have a whole lot of time before we know we will be interrupted by one of my kids, or she will need to get back to something she left on the stove, or her beloved husband (she is the caregiver), so we only have about fifteen to twenty minutes of precious time to visit. We, of course, start out with the formalities how is this, how was that, how is_____? Then we get to the real conversation, the meat of the visit. I have learned a lot about life, myself and H. in those small nuggets of moments.
1. Time is short, and if you don't get to the "good" stuff right away,you may miss it altogether.
2.We can choose who we spend time with, and sometimes 15 minutes with the right person, can lift your spirit more than hours with the wrong the one.
3.That conversations are supposed to go two ways, and there is always time to listen and to speak.
4. Wise advise can be summoned up with few words,and lots of understanding.
5.Even when you have your own issues, you can always make time for someone else's.
6. Time is precious, so you need to make good use of it.
7.Its not about the quantity of time you invest in a friendship, but the quality of time.
8.In the midst of struggles,disappointments,and heartache there is still hope, but more importantly faith.
9.That are kids will grow up, and we will have to let them go.
10.That life is hard, but God is so very, very good.
Our mailbox meetings, have become something I look forward too. Its the off chance of surprise that we may meet up, its an announced gift, its the fellowship we offer one another, its the friendship that we share. I will be posting future issues of "mailbox meetings", and hope you will get as much out of the rich conversations as I do!
So, next time you go to your mailbox and spot your neighbor; wave, say hi, because you may end up having some mailbox meetings all your own!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
How Do You Define Beauty?
How do you define beauty? Does it come from within, or is it the outward appearance that is portrayed? As women, but more importantly as mother's, we need to really think about how we define beauty. Is it the number on the scale or the size on your jeans? Is it the miles we run, or the salads we eat? Is it giving back to the poor, and helping the needy?
The media would like us to believe, its all about what is on the outside, but we as mother's need to take a hard look at that approach.We are allowing the magazines, television, and movies to define beauty to our daughters. Maybe, we ourselves are also in this trap, trying to look like how the world tells us we should look like.
I love to exercise, I will admit it, but I have to be very careful that I am setting a good example of health to my daughter, and not portraying a warped sense of body image to her. I want her to know that her self worth, is not wrapped up in the tag size on her ambercrombies, or that her beauty is defined from having flawless skin. I want to teach her that beauty isn't something you find in a lip gloss, or a new fad.
Beauty is about individuality, and being exactly who you are without excuses. Its embracing your flaws and imperfections, and celebrating your uniqueness in which you were created. It is about selfless acts of kindness. Beauty is about humility, strength and courage. Its about standing up for what is right, and sticking to your morals and values.There are so many facets of beauty that each woman contains beauty all her own.
We need to stop letting others define beauty for us, and start deciding what beauty is for ourselves, and then teach our daughters. Our daughters need to know that outward beauty fades, but inner beauty last a life time. So how do you define beauty? Believe it, live it, be it. Our daughters are watching!
The media would like us to believe, its all about what is on the outside, but we as mother's need to take a hard look at that approach.We are allowing the magazines, television, and movies to define beauty to our daughters. Maybe, we ourselves are also in this trap, trying to look like how the world tells us we should look like.
I love to exercise, I will admit it, but I have to be very careful that I am setting a good example of health to my daughter, and not portraying a warped sense of body image to her. I want her to know that her self worth, is not wrapped up in the tag size on her ambercrombies, or that her beauty is defined from having flawless skin. I want to teach her that beauty isn't something you find in a lip gloss, or a new fad.
Beauty is about individuality, and being exactly who you are without excuses. Its embracing your flaws and imperfections, and celebrating your uniqueness in which you were created. It is about selfless acts of kindness. Beauty is about humility, strength and courage. Its about standing up for what is right, and sticking to your morals and values.There are so many facets of beauty that each woman contains beauty all her own.
We need to stop letting others define beauty for us, and start deciding what beauty is for ourselves, and then teach our daughters. Our daughters need to know that outward beauty fades, but inner beauty last a life time. So how do you define beauty? Believe it, live it, be it. Our daughters are watching!
Monday, May 6, 2013
Its a Pilots wife for me!
This week has been exhausting being a pilot's wife... and it's only Monday! Ugh! The Captain has made an appearance for the last few weeks, just enough time to get clean clothes, mow the front yard(not the back) catch one of the kids baseball games,give his daughter a 30 min driving lesson, a quick peck on my cheek(okay well a little more than a peck) and back out the door! Whew.. Its not always like this, so I am not complaining too loudly. Sometimes he can be home for days on end, and I pray for his next trip:)
But this week we have a lot going on and I am a little grumpy to be flying solo! We have the last week of baseball tournaments,and a daughter going to her first prom. I know its probably harder on him, then me because even though it is chaotic, I don't have to miss anything. Women will often ask, how I manage such a crazy,schedule with a husband who travels so frequently. First, I don't handle it by myself, I know it looks like it from the outside, but the Captain is always involved in our day to day routine. I make sure that our children know that even if he isn't home,he is informed,and inquires about everything that goes on! So, really its not all that difficult.
When the Captain is home he is all about being with us, spending time with the kids,and getting as much done around the house as he can before the next flight.So, its not all a bad thing. I know many husbands who work from home and spend less time with their wife and children. I have adapted after 18 years of marriage, and I honestly couldn't imagine it being any other way. It works for us. Its not a lifestyle for everyone, but for us it seems to make us stronger, happier, and more connected. Maybe its the endless phone calls while he is on the road, that keep our communication constantly intact or the old saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder. It could be the never ending excitement to see him each time he walks in the door, or the enthusiasm the kids have when they see his car pulling into the driveway. Even in this electronic world with their noses stuck on an ipods, iphones or xbox, the kids will stop everything and run out jumping around like crazy because, Daddy is home. I am not sure most dads get that same kind of greeting!
I also love the fact they we have both been able to keep a balance between being a couple, and maintaining our individuality.We both have mutual respect for the paths that we each have chosen, and how we have decided to raise our family.
However, there are times like these past few weeks, I would have like to have had him home, it would be easier to have two parents dropping off at activities, taking the kids to get new shoes, cleaning the pool, or just snuggling up to watch a show. But, this is our life, the one we chose to be committed to forever, the one that we fought for while working towards this dream, and I wouldn't have it any other way, well, maybe just for this week!
But this week we have a lot going on and I am a little grumpy to be flying solo! We have the last week of baseball tournaments,and a daughter going to her first prom. I know its probably harder on him, then me because even though it is chaotic, I don't have to miss anything. Women will often ask, how I manage such a crazy,schedule with a husband who travels so frequently. First, I don't handle it by myself, I know it looks like it from the outside, but the Captain is always involved in our day to day routine. I make sure that our children know that even if he isn't home,he is informed,and inquires about everything that goes on! So, really its not all that difficult.
When the Captain is home he is all about being with us, spending time with the kids,and getting as much done around the house as he can before the next flight.So, its not all a bad thing. I know many husbands who work from home and spend less time with their wife and children. I have adapted after 18 years of marriage, and I honestly couldn't imagine it being any other way. It works for us. Its not a lifestyle for everyone, but for us it seems to make us stronger, happier, and more connected. Maybe its the endless phone calls while he is on the road, that keep our communication constantly intact or the old saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder. It could be the never ending excitement to see him each time he walks in the door, or the enthusiasm the kids have when they see his car pulling into the driveway. Even in this electronic world with their noses stuck on an ipods, iphones or xbox, the kids will stop everything and run out jumping around like crazy because, Daddy is home. I am not sure most dads get that same kind of greeting!
I also love the fact they we have both been able to keep a balance between being a couple, and maintaining our individuality.We both have mutual respect for the paths that we each have chosen, and how we have decided to raise our family.
However, there are times like these past few weeks, I would have like to have had him home, it would be easier to have two parents dropping off at activities, taking the kids to get new shoes, cleaning the pool, or just snuggling up to watch a show. But, this is our life, the one we chose to be committed to forever, the one that we fought for while working towards this dream, and I wouldn't have it any other way, well, maybe just for this week!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Fear Factor
In two weeks the Captain and I, along with a few friends, will be competing in a little race known as the"tough mudder!" http://toughmudder.com) Its a 13 mile run, with over 26 obstacles along the way,such as: ice bath, fire pits, mud crawls, wall climbs, and even electrocution at the end, in order to receive an orange tough mudder head band, a beer card, a shirt and bragging rights.
Actually, we have been having a blast with the training, holding each other accountable on the days the Captain is out of town. Encouraging each other when one of us wants to give up. Pushing one another to stay the course, and reminding each other our end goal. This has been a huge marriage builder. I know that throughout this race, we can not finish with out each other, there is no possible way. We need each other to pull through the course, to lift one another up, to crawl and even comfort each other through the pain. The course is designed to push you to your limits,face all your fears, and realize your potential along the way.
Why would I put myself through something so rigorous, strenuous, and dangerous? I think for me its about the challenge. Its about facing my fears and knowing that not only am I stronger than I think, I am more capable than I imagine. I won't let my fears hold me back, and put limits on my possibilities.I would rather know that I tried and failed, then sit on the sidelines. I have never been one to see the world with limits, not even my own. I tend to jump in feet first, then figure out the" how" later. We all have fears, but we must reach past them, if we ever want to see our full potential. Every time, we go out of our comfort zone, we grow more confident,stronger and become the person we are called to be. When you put yourself in situations, that you cannot control, it allows you to lean on the ONE who is in control of everything.
Here is what I have learned about myself through racing.
1.I get out of it what I put into it.
2 My mind is my biggest asset.
3 When I finish my race, I am not the same woman who started the race.
4.I will feel fear, but I will do it anyway.
5.What if..I can?
6.I will finish my race
7.I am a competitor
8.praying while running is better than an ipod
9.I am stronger than I thought
10.I am worth every ounce of sweat,and every mile I pass
So on May 19th, when the Captain and I race together for the first time, I am going to enjoy being a team on the race course,powering through the most difficult obstacles together,gaining strength from one another,drawing encouragement from each other, and finishing our race as one.
Actually, we have been having a blast with the training, holding each other accountable on the days the Captain is out of town. Encouraging each other when one of us wants to give up. Pushing one another to stay the course, and reminding each other our end goal. This has been a huge marriage builder. I know that throughout this race, we can not finish with out each other, there is no possible way. We need each other to pull through the course, to lift one another up, to crawl and even comfort each other through the pain. The course is designed to push you to your limits,face all your fears, and realize your potential along the way.
Why would I put myself through something so rigorous, strenuous, and dangerous? I think for me its about the challenge. Its about facing my fears and knowing that not only am I stronger than I think, I am more capable than I imagine. I won't let my fears hold me back, and put limits on my possibilities.I would rather know that I tried and failed, then sit on the sidelines. I have never been one to see the world with limits, not even my own. I tend to jump in feet first, then figure out the" how" later. We all have fears, but we must reach past them, if we ever want to see our full potential. Every time, we go out of our comfort zone, we grow more confident,stronger and become the person we are called to be. When you put yourself in situations, that you cannot control, it allows you to lean on the ONE who is in control of everything.
Here is what I have learned about myself through racing.
1.I get out of it what I put into it.
2 My mind is my biggest asset.
3 When I finish my race, I am not the same woman who started the race.
4.I will feel fear, but I will do it anyway.
5.What if..I can?
6.I will finish my race
7.I am a competitor
8.praying while running is better than an ipod
9.I am stronger than I thought
10.I am worth every ounce of sweat,and every mile I pass
So on May 19th, when the Captain and I race together for the first time, I am going to enjoy being a team on the race course,powering through the most difficult obstacles together,gaining strength from one another,drawing encouragement from each other, and finishing our race as one.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
What's the Secret?
The captain and I just celebrated 18 happy years of marriage..Time has gone so fast, it makes my head spin. Although its all relative, anyway. Its longer than some marriages and shorter than many. However, when you say you've been married for 18 years to anyone, the next thing out of there mouths is "What's your secret?" So I started to think about it and I asked a few long term married couples.
Here is the responses:
Popop (married 60 yrs this June)- There is no "divorce"alternative, you find the solution to the problem, and fix it,period.
Memaw (married to Popop)- its a secret, but I promise it will be worth the wait!
Pastor Martin (married 62 yrs)-you make sure you marry the person from the head up, because we are all the same from the head down.
Evelyn (married to pastor Martin)-You make sure you continue to have the same interest, if he likes bowling, you better go bowling.
Mary (married over 30 yrs to a pilot)-make sure when he comes home you have great sex together, because when times get tough you have the sex, it will hold the marriage together.
The captain (married 18 yrs)-Let your wife win..most of the time.
And Me (married to the Captain)Choose to love you husband for ALL the things he does right, and not for the few things he may have done wrong.
Marriage takes hard work, determination, dedication, and down right stubbornness! It requires lots of patience,respect, a whole lot of compromising with a little bit of luck! Marriage, is a gift from our heavenly father, although sometimes we may feel like its a curse! To tell you our marriage is perfect, would be a lie. There is no "perfect" anything.We are imperfect women, married to imperfect men, so there will be struggles,and challenges. Its how we handle those that bring us to the joy, and successes..Every year in marriage, and in every season, the secret changes. There is no "one" secret, but many different ones, that you collect along the years, tuck away, and reflect on.
After 18 years of marriage,I've learned that having a great marriage, isn't about a secret, its about loving ,honoring and cherishing the other person more than yourself. Its about being selfless, on a daily basis.It's not just the big events, or surprises,that happen a couple of times a year(bdays,Christmas,Anniversaries etc) ,but the small moments in our every day life that creates a great marriage.
Its going out of your way to bring her coffee home from her favorite place. Its always having clean sheets on the bed, even if he is out of town for only one night. Its going to Walmart for tampons, at 1am because, she forgot them at the grocery. Its letting him sleep in, and getting the kids to school all by yourself. Its bringing her flowers on a rainy Monday, for no reason. It's doing his laundry at midnight for a quick turn around trip. Its rubbing her head at night when she can't sleep. Its in the compliment you say about him to your friends.Its allowing her to take a long, hot bath, without the kids finding out what she's doing.Its letting him pick Sonny's for the umpteenth time. Its in the way he looks at her,in a crowded room and she knows exactly what he is thinking or wants.Its pushing him to follow his dream,and supporting his career with minor complaints. Its being at every finish line of every one of her races.Its about touching his hand,and he knows he's gonna get lucky.Its agreeing to one of her crazy ideas,to see her happy. Its singing his song at karaoke. Its dancing with her with his two left feet.Its watching shows about airplanes and acting interested. Its taking her side every time,even when she is wrong.Its in every kiss, every look, every glance,every sigh, and every day.
No, I don't know "the secret" to a happy, successful marriage... But I know "our" secrets to a happy, successful marriage.
Here is the responses:
Popop (married 60 yrs this June)- There is no "divorce"alternative, you find the solution to the problem, and fix it,period.
Memaw (married to Popop)- its a secret, but I promise it will be worth the wait!
Pastor Martin (married 62 yrs)-you make sure you marry the person from the head up, because we are all the same from the head down.
Evelyn (married to pastor Martin)-You make sure you continue to have the same interest, if he likes bowling, you better go bowling.
Mary (married over 30 yrs to a pilot)-make sure when he comes home you have great sex together, because when times get tough you have the sex, it will hold the marriage together.
The captain (married 18 yrs)-Let your wife win..most of the time.
And Me (married to the Captain)Choose to love you husband for ALL the things he does right, and not for the few things he may have done wrong.
Marriage takes hard work, determination, dedication, and down right stubbornness! It requires lots of patience,respect, a whole lot of compromising with a little bit of luck! Marriage, is a gift from our heavenly father, although sometimes we may feel like its a curse! To tell you our marriage is perfect, would be a lie. There is no "perfect" anything.We are imperfect women, married to imperfect men, so there will be struggles,and challenges. Its how we handle those that bring us to the joy, and successes..Every year in marriage, and in every season, the secret changes. There is no "one" secret, but many different ones, that you collect along the years, tuck away, and reflect on.
After 18 years of marriage,I've learned that having a great marriage, isn't about a secret, its about loving ,honoring and cherishing the other person more than yourself. Its about being selfless, on a daily basis.It's not just the big events, or surprises,that happen a couple of times a year(bdays,Christmas,Anniversaries etc) ,but the small moments in our every day life that creates a great marriage.
Its going out of your way to bring her coffee home from her favorite place. Its always having clean sheets on the bed, even if he is out of town for only one night. Its going to Walmart for tampons, at 1am because, she forgot them at the grocery. Its letting him sleep in, and getting the kids to school all by yourself. Its bringing her flowers on a rainy Monday, for no reason. It's doing his laundry at midnight for a quick turn around trip. Its rubbing her head at night when she can't sleep. Its in the compliment you say about him to your friends.Its allowing her to take a long, hot bath, without the kids finding out what she's doing.Its letting him pick Sonny's for the umpteenth time. Its in the way he looks at her,in a crowded room and she knows exactly what he is thinking or wants.Its pushing him to follow his dream,and supporting his career with minor complaints. Its being at every finish line of every one of her races.Its about touching his hand,and he knows he's gonna get lucky.Its agreeing to one of her crazy ideas,to see her happy. Its singing his song at karaoke. Its dancing with her with his two left feet.Its watching shows about airplanes and acting interested. Its taking her side every time,even when she is wrong.Its in every kiss, every look, every glance,every sigh, and every day.
No, I don't know "the secret" to a happy, successful marriage... But I know "our" secrets to a happy, successful marriage.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Driving Ms. Regan
I took Regan to the DMV a week ago, yes she is already 15 and getting her permit! As she was waiting anxiously to get her picture done,I literally saw her life flash before my eyes. It was like something out of a movie. I could remember every monumental moment I have shared with her. From the second the stick showed two lines, to giving birth, pre-school, learning to ride a bike, pumping swings at the park, every holiday sitting on Santa's lap, every boo-boo I kissed better, brownies,to braces, and I just started crying! I couldn't help it and I couldn't stop. Of course I embarrassed her, and she just rolled her eyes,"oh,boy again?" I looked away.
The tears were a mix of joy, heartache and pride. Are there any other for a mother? I look at the almost adult, beautiful young lady, and stare in awe, of how fast time has gone. I know too well, that my kisses will no longer cure whatever heart ache, cuts or bruises that she will have in her future.I know that there are no monsters under her bed, but have I prepared her for the ones of the world? I know that fairy tales all have happy endings, but in real life there is heartache and disappointment.I know too well that despite what they tell us, dreams don't always come true,and you can't be whatever you want when you grow-up.
Am I ready? NO,NO,NO I scream in my head. I don't want to hold her back, but I want to hold on to her while my knuckles turn white,I want to breathe in her youth. I know that her licence is the first step to this new found "freedom" that she so craves. I know for her, life is just beginning, with endless opportunities and doors to be opened, and some that will even slam in her face. As mother's we spend their lives protecting them,and then we realize that we have to let go and hope everything we have taught them is somewhere in that adolescent,t rebellious teen. They have to explore, learn, and fall so they can grow into the adults they are called to be. One day when she becomes a mother, it will be her crying at the dmv and having all the same doubts, fears, and hope for her daughter and I can just hold her, kiss her and once again tell her"everything is going to be okay".
The tears were a mix of joy, heartache and pride. Are there any other for a mother? I look at the almost adult, beautiful young lady, and stare in awe, of how fast time has gone. I know too well, that my kisses will no longer cure whatever heart ache, cuts or bruises that she will have in her future.I know that there are no monsters under her bed, but have I prepared her for the ones of the world? I know that fairy tales all have happy endings, but in real life there is heartache and disappointment.I know too well that despite what they tell us, dreams don't always come true,and you can't be whatever you want when you grow-up.
Am I ready? NO,NO,NO I scream in my head. I don't want to hold her back, but I want to hold on to her while my knuckles turn white,I want to breathe in her youth. I know that her licence is the first step to this new found "freedom" that she so craves. I know for her, life is just beginning, with endless opportunities and doors to be opened, and some that will even slam in her face. As mother's we spend their lives protecting them,and then we realize that we have to let go and hope everything we have taught them is somewhere in that adolescent,t rebellious teen. They have to explore, learn, and fall so they can grow into the adults they are called to be. One day when she becomes a mother, it will be her crying at the dmv and having all the same doubts, fears, and hope for her daughter and I can just hold her, kiss her and once again tell her"everything is going to be okay".
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Reinventing the Wheel
I read an article the other day in my "More" magazine, about sending in your articles on how you have reinvented yourself.. I have to say this really hit a nerve. Reinvent myself?, It took me 42 yrs to like the woman I am now! It took me 42 years to understand myself. And now that isn't enough?I have to reinvent this version?.
I understand improving myself, being the best version of myself that I can be, but to completely reinvent myself? That suggest there is something wrong with the version that I am.
I have Never seen an article in a Man's magazine about reinventing themselves, I guess whatever type of man you are is fine, but as a woman, we aren't good enough to just be who we are, we have to REINVENT ourselves.
Its not "enough" to have a career, take care of a family,be a wife or homemaker. It irks me, that as a woman, "they", whoever "they" are, are always suggesting we are not enough. What we do is not "enough" how we look is not"enough" who we are is not"enough",what we have is not "enough"!
Well I say enough is enough. Its time we as women fight back, and decide that we don't need to "reinvent" ourselves,we need to embrace ourselves, be content with ourselves,we need to stop comparing ourselves,stop criticizing ourselves and most importantly, we need to love ourselves, because, I'm pretty sure the God who made me is the same God who made you, and I promise he did not make a mistake.
I understand improving myself, being the best version of myself that I can be, but to completely reinvent myself? That suggest there is something wrong with the version that I am.
I have Never seen an article in a Man's magazine about reinventing themselves, I guess whatever type of man you are is fine, but as a woman, we aren't good enough to just be who we are, we have to REINVENT ourselves.
Its not "enough" to have a career, take care of a family,be a wife or homemaker. It irks me, that as a woman, "they", whoever "they" are, are always suggesting we are not enough. What we do is not "enough" how we look is not"enough" who we are is not"enough",what we have is not "enough"!
Well I say enough is enough. Its time we as women fight back, and decide that we don't need to "reinvent" ourselves,we need to embrace ourselves, be content with ourselves,we need to stop comparing ourselves,stop criticizing ourselves and most importantly, we need to love ourselves, because, I'm pretty sure the God who made me is the same God who made you, and I promise he did not make a mistake.
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