Monday, October 27, 2008

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

I have a confession to make.. I have cheated on you. Yes, I found something else that was new, and fun, and took less of a commitment from me. I was enticed and lured away by the romance of it all. No, I wasn't angry,my needs were being me. I swear it just"happened".I have been feeling really guilty, and knew I better ask for forgiveness. It was only a few times, and it didn't mean anything. A fling if you will, a walk on the wild side. This is why I haven't been posting too much lately, it was taking up my time. But, I turned my back, and walked away.and I promise to stay faithful.
My face book account has officially been disconnected. Yes, I got caught up with this face book thing. I realized I can not juggle two relationships at once! I joined face book at the encouragement of friends and family. Only to find that once I joined, people from everywhere kept finding me. Don't get me wrong that's great if you have a glowing, innocent past and want to be found. I don't. To both.
I had the account for a few weeks, and it is addicting. I found myself checking messages, responding and getting caught up in it. I had like 47 friends to keep up with in two weeks, I have never had that many friends in my life. It was exhausting.
Many of my old high school classmates, got in touch with me. Fun right? well, if high school was fun for you than yeah, but for me, I never really knew if some comment or picture was going to make its way onto my face book, and embarrass the hell out of me.
I also realized that for the most part, the past is better left, well in the past. Nothing good can come out of revisiting that period of my life. I will admit there were a few people that I would have loved to have kept in touch with, but for the most part, it was dangerous for me and I could see it being a place where my self- destructive behavior could breathe new life.
I know this is probably really dramatic for some of you, but than again you didn't know me than. To be honest, I didn't even know me then. I think face book can be a great tool for some people, but for me I realized it wanted a bigger commitment than I could give, I wanted a fling, it wanted a marriage, I had to end it, abruptly. But don't worry we're still "friends".


Cpt. J's Wife said...

You are still loved :)

Summer said...

Hi - actually I found your blog via Facebook - how funny! I'm also a pilot's wife. Just thought I'd leave a comment since I stopped by!