Monday, February 11, 2008

Happy Friggin Valentine's Day!

So Ladies we are in the final stretch! I mean there is only three days left before the most romantic day of the year is here! You know the one ,we all know the one- the big Valentine's Day! Woo Hoo- okay lets be real it -SUCKS-am I right? Lets face it, it sucks if your single(big time), it sucks if you've been married for awhile because your at the "we dont need to celebrate it" stage, ( FYI guys this is a lie-yes we are women we lie)and then if they do get you something well lets face it girls_IT AIN"T FREE! you know what I mean-all they are thinking is-flowers=sex,dinner=sex,candy=sex,_____(fill in blank)=sex! Am I right? you know that I am. If you are like me Valentine's day also takes me back to high school, you know the time when EVERYONE celebrate's it , they send the flower grams,notes,etc to their "true love"during school hours and if you are not the one who gets something you carry this around for the rest of your life- looking in search of having the "perfect" valentines day to make up for your lack of popularity with the boys in highschool! okay so I have some bitterness and anger about valentine's day in highschool-haha I feel sorry for my poor daughter, she is starting out with the best valentine(her daddy) and so leaving her in dissapointment that no other man will ever be able to measure up to him.This is his plan anyway.This holiday especially sucks when you are a wife of a pilot, here is why ,the boss is trying to woo his wife(=sex) and could give two craps about yours and always decides to take his wife to a romantic trip to the Islands- so ,this is where Bob and his work husband(Rich) will celebrate MY valentine's Day- together-at the resort,drinking foo foo drinks, hanging by the beach and having MY romantic valentine's dinner, together.Well that better be all he gets on MY Valentines date.ha ha oaky that was gross. anyway it sucks.
So Today I am giving all of us an UNVALENTINE Day Holiday- where we take ourselves out, treat ourselves to a manicure/pedicure,massage, new shoes,whatever. To celebrate our womanhood and the curse that we all live with as women of wanting and craving the passion,romance,flowers,candy, yes we really do want IT ALL-We can not help it,we are created for this, to be treasured,loved, adored- I think this is the best part of being a woman,and no men,,, this is not to let YOU off the hook for Valentine's Day. hint;when we say we don't want anything,we lie,when we say its no big deal,still lying,and for gosh sakes when we say its valentine's day everday with you its all lies, lies, and more lies. Do not fall for this crap, you better come home with cards,candy,flowers,dinner and the whole nine yards-you better surprise us-because anything less, and well lets just say, we can go alot longer than you can-So wake up men, show the women you love that you love them ,they are adored,appreciated,your one "True Love". and I bet everyone will wake up the next day with a smile on their face:)
PS for those of you that are single -sorry, your screwed. there's always next year.and if I am lucky you were one of those girls in highschool who always got the flower gram-so I hate you anyway-
PSS and Bob if you were ever going to comment on my blog,it better be NOW, and it better be mushy,sweet and romantic.
PSSS Bob just got home with new bathing suit,suntan lotion,new serengiti's sunglasses(for his Valentine's weekend), btw he brought me tampons,pads,and avocados.He is in big trouble here. His ship is sinking fast,very fast.poor, poor Bob he won't be smiling for awhile.


Victoria's Secrets said...

Well, little sister,I WAS one of those girl's who got the grams, flowers and balloons! But, as you know, I'm single and alone so if it makes you feel better, I will be by myself on Valentine's Day too. At least you have a sweetheart somewhere pining over you, saying sweet something's in your ear and warming you up at night. Even if it is from an exotic location!

Victoria's Secrets said...

Oh yea and for the record. Bob's never said anything sweet, mushy or romantic in his entire life.
So,do you honestly think he's going to start now?!

St. of Words said...

brenda. you are hilarious. and so right. amen sister. we act like we dont care but deeeep down we want the mushy gusy. i mean come's one day, that's all we ask! hope bob enjoys his time. you go treat yourself.